Pay for the emoji library access
they add a c/nsfw
Formally inviting V*ush to join the site and have his own comm
- add “gender critical”, “infrared”, and “shoeonhead” comms
- bring in TERFs by sneaking in SWERF sitemods (pretty much :same-picture: , but some brocialists are more likely to ignore or agree with them).
- add “populists” to the definition of left unity
- unban all the losers who got purged for popping their hemorrhoids about pronouns
- photoshop john kerry’s face onto all of the emojis and replace the original emoji with kerrymoji
The :volcel-police: are defunded and the c/dating is reopened for horny posting.
fuck I forgot about that lmao. I went from “weird the site doesn’t allow horny posts but ok” to “oh my god no please keep banning horny posts” within about 20 minutes.
It’s really easy to forget how fucked up and misogynist some people get the moment they’re turned on. :cringe:
The very first thing they do is replace the software with a custom proprietary message board created by oDesk contractors who got paid $3/hr. It’s implemented in PHP and all of the unique features which were born from user demand are missing, but from the perspective of a publicly traded company, any software infrastructure licensed under the Affero GPL must be stomped into the dirt like a scorpion. They do introduce micro-sect account flairs though because focus group trials indicated that sectarianism drives conflict and conflict drives user engagement.
The new software launches with a site rebrand to wash some of the ‘tankie’ reputation away and they hire a boutique guerilla marketing firm (in actuality, just three Reddit power-users with visible stink lines coming off of them) to boost the site’s ‘flagging’ KPIs. They spread the word among some of Reddit’s most active leftist forums, including r/WorkReform, r/Vaush, and r/NewPatriotism. Some popular leftist Twitter users, such as BrooklynDad_Defiant! and The Hoarse Whisperer are offered small cash payments to tweet positively about the new site. The existing communities and network of site moderators prove counterproductive to this growth initiative, so the owners step in and contract out moderation to a small tech startup which claims to specialize in online community relations.
The site grows over the next several months. Key performance indicators such as active user count, ad impressions, and subscriptions increase tenfold within a year. Several of Twitch’s most popular affiliated streamers have held AMAs and a couple have even migrated their communities after being banned from Reddit for coordinated misogynistic harassment. These numbers prove attractive to several prospective buyers, and the company begins formally posturing itself to sell. Ultimately the site ends up changing hands again, this time to Cheezburger, Inc.
