I don’t feel angry, all I could feel is hopelessness about the future. I have no plans, no job and my girlfriend is going to break up with me but I don’t know when exactly she will and I don’t even have a clue what is the reason. I don’t hate anybody, on the other side I just don’t feel loving anyone, especially me. I wish I could have wings and fly across somewhere. That should clear my mind.

If it were well, I would not have asked this question. I am trying my best to suppress my suicidal thoughts but it’s becoming harder every day.

going to a sweaty gym and being bored and miserable?

Going to the gym isn’t exactly like this. It helped me a lot with my mental health but I am in a position now where I can’t resume it, so that’s why I am considering the medicines temporarily.

but resolve your repressed anger

how to do that?

I was going to the gym before getting laid off. Gym helped me with my mental health.

I swear that has to vary across people.

I am sorry it didn’t work out for you.

Sex does both.

I wish I had someone for that.

It won’t make you happy on its own but screwing it up will make you unhappy on its own, so it’s the foundation to build everything else on.

My sleep cycle is currently from 4 am to 11 am. Think I should sleep earlier? I do coding at night and surf social media during the day.

You might consider an MDMA, DMT or LSD trip to figure out why you’re unhappy.

No, I don’t want to get into drugs. I know things are hard for me but it will only make things work. Some comments here told me the same, recommending mushrooms, and other recreational drugs but I know it will only make things worse.

One day other people having the same problems as me will find this thread and I don’t want them to take the wrong way.

Try 5-HTP as a supplement if you believe you have low serotonin levels for some reason.

I will find out what this is. Thanks for your comment.