fratsarerats [none/use name]
They just want to hurt men. Why would they deliberately give men good advice?
I don’t claim to read their minds but I think a lot of them genuinely do want to help men in dating, but are operating from the wrong paradigm. For the ones that aren’t, I mean even complete ghouls can give good advice, e.g. do some pushups.
That last one is 100% #nofap.
I think that like PUA stuff, once the toxic elements are removed, nofap isn’t actually a bad idea. I mean young men are so addicted to hardcore porn these days that it’s no wonder many of them getting erectile dysfunction when they finally do get with a real woman. Just like “touching grass” and “logging off” I don’t think it’s a bad thing to abstain from masturbating for a little bit. Especially if masturbation is mentally linked in your mind to porn. If it takes like a few weeks (or in hardcore cases) a few months to deprogram your porn brain, that’s probably for the better. Also, you’ll come to appreciate realistic beauty instead of the “mega hot chicks” in the porn videos.
Yeah honestly the PUA stuff is pretty solid advice as long as it’s not using shaky evo-psych to justify it or any other red pill stuff. Like a straight cis young man should know how to navigate various social interactions in life, whether it’s interacting with your grandmother or that girl you think is cute sitting next to you in the library.
If you wanna “shoot your shot” (so to speak) then there’s gotta be some advice on how to do it. A lot of the lib twitter feminist space (usually also TERFy) will tell young men that “you should meet a nice girl” while at the same time telling them “don’t approach a woman at a coffee shop or library cuz they don’t wanna be bothered.” So where does a guy go? To a noisy club or bar filled with superficial people? Honestly it’s like they’re talking out of both sides of their mouth. I’d venture to say that real women won’t be too bothered being approached in a coffee shop or library (or any other non-bar/club area) as long as you don’t approach in a “weird/creepy” way and the overall interaction is fun and adds to their day positively. Even if they’re in a committed and healthy relationship, a nice interaction is just that, a nice interaction.
The big thing that isn’t talked about is learning social skills. I think a lot of people are way behind on that. But unfortunately, due to being context dependent, it’s harder to teach someone social skills than it is to teach them how to learn a hobby or an exercise routine. Honestly, that’s what I think people are talking about when they talk about how there isn’t enough advice for men about this.
Social skills are learnable, maybe we need to do more advice on that. Plus, I mean, how can we ever expect to organize if nobody knows how to socialize or build community?
:this: :this: :this:
Also, definitions; the unitary self is illusory. Sentience, the ability to feel and perceive, is not. It’s a very important distinction.
Sounds like this guy (mr meat bro) has been watching too many Sam Harris videos and thinks that he’s some kind of mantra master observer or something 🤣
That doesn’t stop some folks, including on Hexbear, pulling the reductionist take of “and so are we, especially you if you disagree.” Something something meat computers something something meatspace get schwifty
There was one meatspace bro on here who said that because of “meditation” that they agreed that we were basically giant meatballs or something like that. Honestly sounded like it came straight out of the Sam Harris subr*ddit…
I mean I’m not sure what part of the source I’m to believe. The abstract, or the annotation which says “but the authors contend that this belief cannot be unconditionally supported.” And I’ve seen a at least two responses in this thread alone that seem to unconditionally support that contentious belief (“Childhood abuse is strongly linked to all sorts of behavioral issues, sorry.” and "Yeah I mean that’s true. ", you can search them here). So maybe the belief that abusers behave that way because they were abused is not only not true (as UnicodeHamSic’s response seems to suggest to me), but also harmful.