Why don’t they just put women onto like chairs and deliver the baby that way? All I can think of now is overweight Italian American doctors dressed in a mechanics coveralls rolling around from room to room on a mechanic’s creeper shouting “Marone! Ma’am, you got a BABY coming outta your PUSSY! That’s gonna cost ya!”

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A nurse carefully pushing a mother in a wheelchair over a trench while a doctor below goes “your good, your good, a little left, ease up a bit…”

Alternately, you can have both the accessibility of laying down and the force of gravity associated with sitting by putting the woman in a giant centrifuge

The centrifuge can also apply more force than gravity alone to speed up the birthing process, as to allow doctors to keep up with Irish women.

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