I’m Floridian and I have a strategy to escape. Florida is to aging chuds what “the big city” is to millennials who grew up in the 'burbs, right? Gotta gotta move there no matter the cost or standard of living change, right (living in closet apartments)? So I’m thinking while housing is booming down here, I can probably find some 50+ dude in UP Michigan to trade his property for my gulf coastal mobile home & lot. After all, Michigan is so COLD and “it’s april and we’re still getting dumped on!” so surely a 3 bedroom mobile home with a fenced in yard and a bike ride to the beach is an upgrade, right? I only have a few years left before climate change reality sets in and you can’t even insure a home here.

But I gotta get out man. The people down here are prancing satyrs. It’s like the movie The Lighthouse where the place drives everyone to madness. You can’t escape it. Even the beach isn’t an escape anymore, Trump-flagged Wranglers and F150s take over the causeways and parking lots. Beautiful boaters swamping poor people on jon boats for laughs. Police chatting through the car windows in traffic with a blue lives matter bumper sticker’d pick up truck and letting that truck just run the red left turn light cause they’re buddies. Cynical sociopathic scheming on small business owners part such as tricking patrons into thinking the service suck cause “no one wants to work cause of welfare”. Defense contractors bragging in bars about new tech that can blow people to smithereens. Naked corruption in state and local governments normalized and expected. Every 50+ year old chud either owns a small business that’s a grift or has a parasitic profession like landlord, repo man, military bureaucrat, defense contractor, etc yet literally thinks they’re John Galt. Combine all that with the heat and it’s indistinguishable from the idea of a hell specifically crafted based on my personality traits. The chill margaritaville-pilled boomers are all gone. They died or turned into high blood pressure rabid chuds. And it’s only getting worse. There are two OathKeepers flags waving in my neighborhood. If I don’t get out within a decade, I’m probably going to be killed. Shit man, even the DNC knows Florida is lost. They’re making bigger moves in fucking Missouri than here. Get me outta here!