In Relationships.
I’ve been told that all people in an Adultery are equally unethical & blameful. I don’t agree with this; i believe the upholding of exclusivity is incumbent on people in relationships, not those without.
in other words, if someone with a marriage ring is trying to bang you, its not your responsibility to chastise them & make sure they respect their partner.
i’m curious what other people think & any radical theory on the constitution of relationships, this stuff is very interesting to me
Don’t fucking cheat, it kills people’s souls. It’s one of the cruelest things to do to someone. If you cheat I have a significantly lower opinion of you.
I know if I got cheated on it would scar me for the rest of my life.
it kills people’s souls. It’s one of the cruelest things to do to someone
Cheating is bad, but takes like these are way over the top.
The harm done by cheating depends on the stakes of the relationship, the vulnerability of the person cheated on, and what happens afterwards. Cheating can be devastating, but there are plenty of situations where cheating happens and people move on pretty quickly. Hell, tons of people get back together with the person who cheated on them.
Plenty of things are bad but not The Worst Thing In The World.
I think takes like that are immature, but I get it. Cheating was devastating to my family, so I felt really strongly about it for a long time.
It’s no fun but a partner is not a posession and people are just shitty sometimes, and sex isn’t magic. Its just a thing people do sometimes that sucks, but I don’t think it rises to the level of the sort of vile abuse that otherwise goes on in some relationships
It’s no fun but a partner is not a posession and people are just shitty sometimes, and sex isn’t magic.
Pretty much – the core wrong is lying, and it’s hard to see how the heightened distain some people have for cheating isn’t rooted in some type of possessory concept of relationships. I see a lot of uncomfortable parallels between how some folks talk about cheating and how libertarians talk about trespassing.
i have a hard time equating the person who made the commitment not to cheat, and the person who’s used for the purpose. they didn’t make any commitments, right?
It isn’t about upholding someone else’s monogamy, it’s about not helping that person hurt/lie to somebody else.
this is a good way to construct it. i’ve been viewing this through a kind of historical lense where marriage was very much about ownership and ‘adultery’ was society enforcing someone’s ‘rights’—which i find gross. this takes the guilt outside the relationship dynamic
“Is X unethical?”
“I would cry like a baby if it happens to me so yes”
Seems like a solid argument, but if X=‘killing nazis’ then you would be advocating for not killing nazis and that’s bad optics on you, I’m really dissapointed, chapo-to-fascist pipeline confirmed 100% no clickbait
That actually raises a very interesting question, if it would be scarring, which I agree it would definitely cause lasting trust issues, would cheating then be considerable as a kind of abuse?
If the shoe fits, and it definitely does because it can be traumatic…
That said, others in this thread have suggested that the real trust violation is the deception, which strikes me as the purer ‘abuse’. If my wife (borat) or husband got drunk and cheated on me, then the next day told me and apologized, that would still hurt and suck, but I would definitely feel it wasn’t abusive compared to them carrying on a romantic relationship, sexual or not, for months and months behind my back. But both are an abuse of trust, it’s just I think ‘abuse’ is a very intentional thing, where you are doing it to hurt the abused or to get one over on them. But definitely cheating can constitute abuse, I’m just not sure it 100% always does.
