When I was 14 I talked about that and luckily had a sociologist friend who gave me stuff to radicalize me. Turns out the studies done show that there is no difference between nationalism and patriotism. If a person says they are either of it on average their opinion in regard to othering others, to violence against other nations, violence against refugees, antisemitism, racism, the right to expropriate other nations etc. the likelihood of violence against women etc. are the same.

There is no good patriotism.