I absolutely despise destination weddings. For the uninitiated, this is when a couple decides to have a wedding at a location that isn’t where the couple lives or where one of the two persons in the couple has a lot of family and friends (like a hometown they moved away from). This is when a couple in say Ohio decides to have their wedding on a beach in Florida a resort in Mexico.

So the expectation is that your guests will each be spending a least a few hundred dollars to attend your wedding. How selfish do you have to be to do one of these? And in the USA among at least middle class folks, this is considered normal and it’s considered kind of a slap in the face if you just don’t go if someone close to you is the one getting married.

US Americans barely have any vacation time or money. And we’re expected to use both (to a place we wouldn’t necessarily choose to go!) just because someone wants to get married there? Fuck that.

Now for a lot of weddings, of course even if you have a normal one where you live, people are gonna have to travel to attend. Not necessarily a big deal except this still puts a sizeable financial obligation on people close to you. I was in this situation for my wedding with a lot of my immediate family and close friends (I moved away from my hometown). But you know what I did? I was emphatic - probably to an annoying degree - that is was totally ok for people to not attend. It wouldn’t have been an issue at all, and it wouldn’t have impacted our relationship one bit. I let people know that just not wanting to come was totally valid. But I don’t know anyone else who has done this.

And yes, I may be salty right now that I have sibling getting married I have to spend a significant amount of money to go, lest I seriously impair our relationship.