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my fellow chapos… how do i work up the courage to send a message to a girl i like… i’m terrified of relationships…
If they are interested in you, they’ll respond. If they aren’t, they won’t, and that’s that.
There’s no way to seduce people or whatever. Just message them and see what’s up. If you haven’t spend any time together, just suggest getting together for whatever activity. Coffee or rock climbing, whatever.
Yeah, just don’t try to force anything, if you enjoy each other’s company one thing leads to another.
Or doesn’t, and that’s okay too.
Basically people are looking for companionship. Someone that’s fun to be around, that makes them feel good about themselves, and that they can confide in.
The catch is that what people find fun, what makes them feel good, and what creates trust is all specific to them and you really can’t force it. You can’t be something you’re not. The only thing you can do is be your best self. If that’s not enough then it isn’t and it’s not going to work long term anyway.
I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but there’s no magic bullet that makes this easy. But, just sending a message isn’t asking her to marry you, and the more comfortable you get initiating the easier it will get for you, which is important because in cishet courtship & relationships the guy is expected to initiate almost 100% of the time.
