It kinda is demeaning towards alphys and her insecurities about dating a woman
I mean I get your angle here, but the whole game is about helping people work out their emotions and improve their relationships with each other. I don’t really think a super-awkward romance is out of line in that context, lesbian or no.
Got any examples? Alphys is very insecure in general, and insecure about liking Undyne because she thinks Undyne is cooler than her. I don’t think her being a woman had anything to do with it
She’s kinda portrayed as a tumblr stereotype: Geeky, Otaku, incredibly insecure about her appearance, rather short.