Edit: Thanks for your condolences.

I appreciate answering questions about this. I haven’t been able to see a therapist yet, and it feels good to talk about it and answer any questions people have about death and cancer. I lived with my mom for the last 14 months of her life, and saw first hand the ups and downs and eventual end.

To answer your question, she was put on hospice 13 days before she died. It was in-home care, and it was pretty accommodating. I would’ve preferred the nurses stayed in longer shifts instead of just popping in for 15 minutes a couple times a day, but their care and help was appreciated.

They gave her a lot of drugs to keep her out of pain and sleepy, but it wasn’t full-proof and she still had plenty of time where she was semi-lucid and still in pain. So it wasn’t perfect. And it especially wasn’t quick. It was basically letting her go from starvation and her lungs going out, over the course of two weeks.

I think we all would have preferred she got a lethal dose of something several days sooner, and I wish that option was available to anybody in my position.