Lol I was so repressed I would never pick femme characters because deep down I knew that was what I wanted for myself. I didn’t want to give myself an inch in experimentation or else I’d risk opening the floodgates. Crossdressing was even more of a no-no for the same reasons.
So yeah I totally believe that.
I would always pick female characters in games, but otherwise I was the same- I avoided femme presentation in all other contexts because I was so scared that, like, what happens if I like it? What does it reveal about me?
The irony of ascribing THAT much power to presentation, though, is that at one point I worked up courage to try a dress, expecting to either feel repulsed or like it was 100% correct, only to find that, like, it was just a piece of clothing. The fact that it didn’t have the innate power I was expecting ironically ended up delaying my realization that I was trans by like 5 years.
