My coworker was telling me how well Jerry Maguire stands up today and I forced myself to remember the major beats of that piece of shit:

  1. Big company bad and evil; small start up good and pure.

  2. Being principled always pays off in the end.

  3. Everyone can make it if they try hard, believe in themselves, and believe in each other.

  4. We can have perfect interpersonal relations if we just learn to balance work and life appropriately, and it’s up to us to accept that challenge.

Fuck this movie. More importantly fuck people who like this movie. Jerry would have turned out just like his old firm buddies (even if the major plot points largely stay the same). Everyone in this movie is actively trying to exploit each other in the beginning. And even though it’s totally inconsequential to how bad these people are in their shitty lives, if you ask me the most unbelievable part is when Jerry and Bridget Jones get back together at the end.

Not buying it.

Tell me about the shitty liberal movies that are renting space in your head.

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19 points

Enola Holmes. The movie centers around women’s suffrage - it’s been a while but I keep thinking about it

  1. the mother is depicted as crazy for taking direct action and associating with activists and her plot ultimately fails. I think she abandons her family too
  2. The boy who Enola falls for can vote and ultimately is the pivotal vote to give women suffrage

Same goes for Fantastic Beasts 3 which ends in a vote

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7 points

That sounds horrible.

Also, I hated Harry Potter from the get go so I stopped torturing myself after the second film. That was like 20 year ago. Haven’t seen a Potter film since.

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I just watched the 3 fantastic beasts movies a few days ago and they all suck but the last one is a fucking disaster holy shit. If you haven’t listened to it I recommend the episode of the Shrieking Shack podcast where they review that movie. The rest of the podcast is pretty good too

Summing up their discussion of that vote scene. “So there’s a bunch of fascists at this vote. The candidates are up at the top of the stairs, and they bring this baby deer out, and the deer has to choose a candidate and it chooses the fascist guy. And it looks legitimate, it’s announced that it’s legitimate, and then some guy shows up and says ‘Actually that’s the wrong deer, this is the right deer’ and that deer chooses the non-fascist, and all the fascists just go ‘Welp, I guess we lost!’ Like, why would you think the fascists wouldn’t just start beating people up? ‘I mean I came here prepared to do fascism, but then the deer didn’t pick him! Well actually the deer did pick him, but that was actually the wrong deer. Yeah, I know, crazy right? How do I know it was the wrong deer? Oh that random guy showed up and told us!’”

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3 points

And what was the point of the vote if deer?

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As far as I understand, which is not far because this movie was incomprehensible gibberish, the magic deer shows them who’s “pure of heart” but then for some reason they vote and they just trust all the fascists to vote for the pure of heart person. As if they wouldn’t just go “Yeah no he’s an asshole and that’s why I like him”

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6 points

the mother is depicted as crazy for taking direct action and associating with activists and her plot ultimately fails

Is she? The male characters treat her as crazy but I feel like the audience is supposed to emphasize with her whole thing.

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I could be misremembering. I feel like she was at least portrayed as foolish for failing

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2 points

I think there’s a bit of a reversal that shows the mom wasn’t crazy after all and she’s working for women’s suffrage.

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7 points
*

Fantastic Beasts 3 which ends in a vote

I haven’t watched it but that’s too fucking perfect lmao :peltier-laugh:

It’s amazing considering that for all of their flaws the original books at least end with a violent political confrontation where the Nazis have to be defeated in order for things to go back to normal.

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7 points

It’s still not good that they end by rehabilitating the wizard government that had completely failed to address the Nazis until the main character, who was a teenager, decided to do something about it.

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If you enjoy watching bad movies and making fun of them I can’t recommend it enough. I had a blast watching it because it’s an absolute disaster. Watch it with a friend or a partner, maybe make a drinking game out of it.

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