I want to state up first I get it, I’m on the right side, most of these men are awful, and every man-o-sphere influence is awful. Andrew Tate belongs in a 6 foot deep hole, or a hole in the back of his head. Joe Rogan should be sent to the Hague.
But when dudes complain, even about genuine issues, we have a tendency to just attack them for it. If a guy complains that being short can kinda suck (and it can. More so than just getting girls, it can hurt your career and everything.) People, even leftists, tend to just call them a sad manlet or something. Same thing with dudes complaining they can’t get a girlfriend, are they not alienated under capitalism? I’m not saying we have to coddle the incels, but we could do better at presenting a future, a better one, maybe?
The discourse about height, and dick size, are both stupid but here (in this safe space) can I admit that there’s a point to both? They affect people, it’s a real thing.
And back to the Joe Rogan’s, I feel bad that men and boys get sucked into that. I have some pity for them, these desperate losers.
Anyways, Im sure I’m going to think this is dumb, but I just can’t help but feel like there’s a gigantic community of extremely disaffected people that while I mostly loathe, I also really feel bad for. I don’t think it would’ve taken much to push me there, I grew up in a good environment with some good role models, but without that, left to the wolves, I’m as susceptible to the grifters as everyone is.
We have huge double standard when it comes to dating advice and I know it causes problems for a lot of dudes. Theres a lot “Oh, the apps suck! Try to meet someone in real life!” Okay where? at a bar? I know Im not supposed to bother girls at the gym, or on public transportation. Bookstores? Weird. (once again this is hypothetical please do not give me actual fucking advice like stop watching porn) but I think we all know when people give that advice the purpose is to get you, the man, to stop annoying them, and that also the point is that if youre very hot itll work out for you and if youre not go to hell.
and the apps are bad for women too, conventionally unattractive women have it about as bad as men with the invisibility and whatnot, but a deluge is very appealing when you’re in a desert.
i would love to have to filter through a bunch of shitty offers to find maybe a good one, because at least getting to say “no” would be exercising my consent instead of having nothing.
there’s some old idea that “yes” isn’t meaningful when “no” wouldn’t be respected or protected against violation and i think there’s a flip side to that where it also doesn’t mean anything if you never have the opportunity to say yes.
Oh, the apps suck! Try to meet someone in real life!” Okay where?
Not trying to be aggressive here but just in real life, the same way you meet anybody else. Become acquainted and get to know your co-workers. Meet new people at social events and clubs. I’m not saying to specifically do stuff to meet women to date but if you just be social and talk to people in general, some of them will be women that are potential partners
I know the appeal of dating apps is that it’s easy to just do it in the safety of your home but this is how people got partners in the past. By just going out, meeting and talking to new people, and building and forming connections
Dating is inherently a social activity. You have to put effort and be comfortable with the risk of meeting new people and forming new connections
This particular problem is less of a misandry problem and more of a social anxiety problem
Oh it is 100% an internet and social media problem making parasocial connections far too easily obtained
I literally wrote an entry in my stoner diary last night talking about this
I also just realized now that I believe social media creating FOMO also causes a lot of people to feel alienated and missing out even though they go out a lot and have a social life that could easily be healthy. They’re always seeing all these highlight reels of other people’s lives and then feel like their own isn’t as exciting even though it probably fulfills all the social needs that you have
I remember hanging out with a girl last month who was forming elaborate plans to get a bunch of people she was acquainted with to invite her to their holiday plans like parties, cottages, trips, etc. which I thought was dumb as hell. What happened to just genuinely finding bonds and connections with others, why are you trying so hard to get invited by people who aren’t even your friends just because their plans are more instagram worthy and has more story value
