here’s the thing: everyone complains about late capitalism and how alienated and isolated we all are. everyone acknowledges this, and reassures each other of this, alone.
you need to get out of yourself, and your head, and your small bubble of one, and you need to go see old friends, or former friends, or people in your social circle who are just meh, or your annoying roommates, or your co-workers, or your former co-workers, or your lame family members, or your lame and bigoted family members, or strangers at a bar, or whomever, and party. meeting people is praxis, strengthening relationships is praxis, making yourself seen and vulnerable to another is praxis. please, guys, go out.
this, here, now, is a facsimile, mediated through a thousand screens. go kiss, go get kissed, go reject a kiss, go be denied a kiss. go out.
none of these freaks think that far ahead. you’re meant to just try forever with no help, no actionable advice, and no care for the toll constant repeated failure takes on you.
The goal is to strike up a conversation (in person or through text, e.g. Tinder/Grindr) with a person you would like to take things further with and see again in another location, either as friends or romantically. You have to initially pick a venue where people there have similar interests, like a meetup or a bar or friends of friends at a party. The goal of the conversation is find some common ground (you both relate to the topic of the meetup, you’re both looking to get laid or go dancing or…) and disqualify yourself or them from future interactions and if not, exchange info and hang out or date them.
For instance, I met a good friend at a meetup by saying hi and taking about stuff for an hour and playing ping pong. I have no clue what we said, but it doesn’t matter because it was entertaining and we didn’t say fash/misogynistic/creepy shit to disqualify future friendship.
I met a girl who was extremely shy because my roommate invited her to a get-together at our place. I literally had to do all the talking to get one-word answers but we eventually had a great time. Again, I don’t really remember any single word either of us said.
I dunno what specific advice you want; there isn’t a formula for what to say to for sure vibe with someone. You really do have to put yourself in a situation where people around you are likely to be your type and then try to make the most of it. I’m not really trying to be a dating coach but maybe this helps.
