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I don’'t want my underwear to do any of the things a Tesla does. Even if I were to buy into all the Tesla hype and just assume it works as intended while ignoring the catastrophic failure states (which is a tall order when you’re asking me to ignore the risk of my underwear catching on fire and locking me inside while being basically impossible to put out by conventional means,)… I don’t want my underwear to be electric at all. I certainly don’t want them to have an autopilot. I want to be the sole captain of where my underwear goes. I do not want there to be additional features available by subscription in my underwear and I do not want them connected to the internet in any way. I do not want Elon Musk in charge in any way.

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When you’re ready, you won’t need underwear.

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…But I want underwear.

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Underwear is bourgeois decadence, just wash your ass.

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4 points

What if your underpants could make a fart sound when you press a button?

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