Iām at a shitty point in my life where Iām just close enough to rock bottom to smell it but far enough that I still have something to lose.
One thing I still have control over is what Iām going to have for lunch. I decided on chicken legs. Iām going to smoke them with Applewood and score the legs so they can hold bbq sauce. Iām going to the store soon but donāt have a favorite sauce, and Iām looking for recommendations. What bbq sauce is best to cook onto the chicken legs?
Came here to say to go with Stubbās, but the jalapeno one. Itās SOOO good!! Dude. So goodā¦
Also, therapy is amazing, and you should totally return. Itās a step to you getting better. Feeling this way sucks balls, but the world isnāt as bad as it seems, and sometimes, it takes a therapist to help you see that. If doing the things you love doesnāt cheer you up, even a bit, you may benefit from a psychiatrist that can prescribe an antidepressant and work with you on your recovery. Saved my best friendās life. Like everything, there are bad ones and good ones and great ones (psychiatrists and antidepressants), but keep fighting so you can find one that will help you. Good luck, my dude. Hang in there, and know that an internet stranger is rooting hard for you!
Thanks homie. I actually quit therapy the last time because my issues were caused by me being broke, alone, and working long hours. My therapist said that my money would be better put towards my bills than therapy. That no amount of coping skills would make me not poor and alone.
Well I got a better job, made friends, and and Iām lightyears ahead of where I used to be, but still i find myself thinking about ending it. Personally I think my past depression kinda fried my brain and Iām permanently broken and probably need meds to be halfass happy.
I donāt have enough enough money to move into my own place, and even though thatās my goal, thatās what Iād define as success, Iām not sure thatād make me happy. I know myself and I know if i lived by myself Iād be lonely and probably overdependant on my work friends. Also Iāve been trying to date but only halfass sending likes on the apps and just a little bit of flirting with my coworkers. In fact thereās this one coworker I have thatās i am just illogically attracted to. Only problem is sheās out of my league in looks, economical standing, has degrees and sheās also older. Sheās so different from me though, in almost every way. I thought i leaned right politically but jeez she really showed me what itās like to be conservative in Asia.
Idk i think thatās just the bourbon talking though. I think about her more than i should, thatās for sure. Iād give her everything if she asked even though I know itād be wrong.
Anyway Iām going to try to sign up for BetterHelp. Honestly Iāll have to lie because they reject certain people but i just canāt afford anything else rn.
I appreciate you friend. Hope to see you around lemmy soon on a more happy post.
One thing I learned, is that, most of the time, someone is only out of your league if you believe they are. I donāt know you (beyond our little conversation here) or her (at all), but it sounds like you have a lot to offer. And, no, not giving her everything, but that part shows me that youāre emotionally available, or, at the very least, willing to be. Although, I donāt know if I would recommend dating or pursuing a coworker, as it can lead to some very unpleasant situations.
Another thing Iāve learned, happiness and success are not actually linked to one another. I know several well-off to bumtasticlly rich people who, I think, everyone would categorize as super successful, and they are some of the most unhappy people. I also know rich people who are happy, and poor people who are happy, and poor people who are unhappy. My point is that money and success wonāt make you happy.
Money makes life easier sometimes, but good friends (emphasis on the good), I think, add more happiness than a ton of money.
I think the BetterHelp thing is a wonderful place to start, even if you have to bend the truth a bit to get in. You deserve happiness.
Believe in yourself, and donāt be afraid to be happyāthatās one of the hardest things to do after a stint (no matter how long or short) of depression. Tell yourself every single day that you deserve to be happy and you are going to be happy today. Literally, write it on a stickynote on the mirror āI deserve to be happy, and I will be happy todayā and read it out loud (even as a whisper) every morning. Maybe add a phone reminder to remind you of this fact throughout the day.
I feel like I just donāt know how to impress her. Part of me says I shouldnāt have to try so hard that Iām not acting like myself, and the other part of me says that I need to be an exceptional person to stand out among the other men she might meet.
I think youāre right about money not equaling happiness. I never wanted to be a millionaire, i just want enough to entertain my hobbies occasionally.
As far as it being a bad idea to date a coworker- i know itās not great but I donāt think sheās going to work at my job for much longer. Still Iām aware the consequences of dating a coworker is immediate site reassignment and likely a pay cut. Love isnāt free though.
