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23 points

Imagine taking that job thinking that the most risky part of it will be having to jump in front of a bullet or pushing the president away from a bomb. But actually you just die from covid because the president wanted a car ride photo op.

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19 points

The Secret Service agents under Trump have the funniest goddamn job in the world. The day after they martyr themselves for the pope of Americanism, he’ll give the widow a platter of McDonalds and start shitposting about how the agent was too weak to survive a bullet and he would have survived if it hit him.

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9 points

They didn’t count on the president announcing he’d be standing in the middle of Pennsylvania Ave on Friday at noon, having left boxes full of guns up and down the street for people’s convenience

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