Honestly this is why I just say everyone that isn’t extremely straight is queer. Definitely controversial but if queer means “not straight” then everyone who isn’t straight is queer. And most folks agree queer is just “not straight.” I dunno what the fuck I am but I ain’t straight so I’m queer. It’s enough for me and for lots of folks I know. It’s much clearer this way I think
I dunno I’ve had plenty of folks (usually who identify as gay or lesbian) say they aren’t queer, they’re gay or lesbian. I think it’s just that crowd of old guard exclusionary gays usually.
To be more charitable there are also lgbt people of older generations who may’ve had “queer” used as a slur against them, which is important to consider imo.
But I generally tend to view “queer” as an umbrella for all legbutt stuff, so
