“Cat lady? Cat lady? No, we don’t work we that, folks, we are cat MEN. Big men, strong men and we love cats. Have you seen my cat? His name is Mr. Chubby and he’s FAT, he’s huge! So big. But we love him, we love big beautiful cats, we love them! Ah but the lyin cheatin democrats, they don’t they hate cats. Laughin Kamala [crowd boos] Laughin Kamala, have you seen her? She doesn’t have a cat, she’s too weak to. Only the strong can work with cats. Strong like we used to be, we used to be so strong - when I was in North Korea do you know what Kim Jong Un said to me? He said ‘Donald, he knows me by my first name, he said Donald how come presidents don’t have cats anymore like Bill Clinton?’ And I told him we’re fixing that, we’re fixing that starting now! [crowd cheers]”

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11 points

What kind of cat? A big grumpy looking Orange Garlfied looking cat seems really appropriate but also too on the nose. How about an absolutely adorable Grey kitten that ends out totally loving Trump and he holds it over everyone.

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an actual tiger, he needs an actual tiger

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9 points

Maybe a different big kitty, Joe Exotic kinda exhausted the weirdo with a tiger thing for a bit. Or maybe a small dog that he insistently calls a cat.

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feral raccoon that he refers to as a cat and fully destroys mar a lago’s interior

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7 points

Face-eating leopard, to own the libs

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6 points

A white Persian, he’ll think it will make him look like Blofeld.

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5 points

Aww man, why didn’t Trump lose an eye instead of an ear? That would have been amazing just for the solidus snake jokes alone.

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