I had always assumed that if a man had gotten a woman pregnant, then if that pregnancy is carried to term, both partners should be financially responsible for the child regardless whether the man had wanted to have the child or not. The mindset being “they got them pregnant, so you have to face the consequences’”.

I was talking with some people online, and they asserted that if the man did not want to have the child, then they should be able to apply to be resolved of any financial responsibility towards caring for it. I was at first against this proposal, but I feel like I now understand it better. Our current legislation was created at a time where abortion was tantamount to murder, and since it was illegal, an obligation of financial responsibility was the only way to ensure that women weren’t stranded with children they couldn’t afford to raise. But now that we live in a world where abortion is legal (for now), and where abortion procedures are safer than carrying the child to term, there doesn’t seem to be a good argument for men still needing to be financially responsible for unwanted children. Men probably would still need to assist in paying for the procedure, but outside of that, I think they had a point. Please explain to me if there is anything I’m failing to consider here.

I also want to apologize for the binary language I used in writing this. I tried at first to write this in a more inclusive way, but I struggled wrapping my head around it. If anyone can educate me in how to write in a way that doesn’t disclude non-binary comrades, I would appreciate it.

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When you freely give your sperm to someone you lose the right to determine what happens to it. If you aren’t comfortable with that arrangement you need to be vigilant about your condom usage or get a vasectomy. I’ve been vigilant about my birth control usage because I don’t want children.

Not gonna lie this sounds a lot like “well if you didn’t wanna get shot by the police you shouldn’t have done XYZ.”

It’s time we normalize sperm-bearing folks to take their ability to create life as seriously as those who who carry the pregnancy.

Not gonna lie this kinda sounds like a conservative argument to “make the man pay because they should be responsible because men are men, etc. etc.”

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15 points

lmao did all the MRAs come to chapo to brigade this post

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12 points
*

The loudest commenter on this thread so far has zero comments prior to this thread. Take of that what you will.

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5 points

yep lol

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Yeah I reported their stuff, hopefully people realise what’s up

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did all the MRAs come to chapo

it’s a redditor website

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5 points

unfortunate

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Not gonna lie this sounds a lot like “well if you didn’t wanna get shot by the police you shouldn’t have done XYZ.”

No, it’s not. Because we’re not talking about extra-judicial violence. We’re talking about two consenting adults having sex.

Not gonna lie this kinda sounds like a conservative argument to “make the man pay because they should be responsible because men are men, etc. etc.”

No. I’ve been very conscientious on not using gendered terms because I don’t want to dilute the debate into a “men need to man up” argument. This is a discussion about two sexually fertile people coming together and weighing the risks of their union.

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Because we’re not talking about extra-judicial violence.

In this case we’re talking about judicially sanctioned violence of the state imposing their will on someone who didn’t consent to taking care of a child they didn’t want. It also perpetuates a lot of stereotypes (e.g. black dead-beat father who’s never there, etc.)

We’re talking about two consenting adults having sex.

I get what you’re trying to say but often these “adults” aren’t any more mature than your average 15 year old. Scientific research is revealing that our brains don’t really develop the ability to think in terms of long term consequences until at least 25 or so. Even if they are consenting adults (mentally mature and all of that good stuff), if one partner doesn’t want a child then they don’t want it. The messy reality is that most people don’t consciously think of this stuff before they act. They’re not like your wealthy suburban libs that “plan” everything. I don’t think they should be strapped with this personal responsibility thing. I still think it’s akin to blaming a poor person for using a plastic bag or plastic straw. It’s some lib-shaming kinda shit.

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10 points

I’m not talking about 15 year olds. As far as I know you can’t sue a 15 year old for child support, but maybe someone on the thread can correct me.

The messy reality is that most people don’t consciously think of this stuff before they act.

Yes, and our culture has left the consequences of this ultimately to the person carrying the pregnancy. I’m saying we need to normalize the reality that both parties can create, and stop, fertilization from happening.

Arguing that a 25 year old doesn’t understand the consequences of sex is incredibly patronizing.

I’m not lib-shaming. This is a socialist forum. All of us want all children to be born into a generous social safety net. OP is asking about a pregnancy now, in the present world.

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1 point

Even if they are consenting adults (mentally mature and all of that good stuff), if one partner doesn’t want a child then they don’t want it.

Sexual intercourse is something that very specifically and directly leads to having children. Just about everyone is given sex education, it’s not like a new helpless creature descended from you being in the world is some hazard occurrence.

You’re arguing the case of a man who has had a child with someone but didn’t want to. Overall, men are able to control decisions about reproduction far more than women. When a parent can just walk away from a child on the grounds that they “didn’t want to have it”, the other parent is saddled with the entire burden. And society is made up of other individuals. Who else should be responsible for raising your child but you?

I went through sex ed at age 11, and by age 15 I definitely was expected to know the consequences of my actions, of whatever type. An adult, even below the age of 25, is not oblivious like a 6-year-old is. You’re simply concern-trolling.

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