Let’s imagine an ideal sexual situation today. So, my idea of a perfect date is the following one. Let’s say I meet lesbians Claudia Schiffer and Cindy Crawford. We are attracted to each other, we say, okay, your dead mother, I will dig her out of her grave, I will do things to her sexually, all the usual stuff. Then, after ten minutes of talking dirty, we have to go through a certain ritual: humiliating each other with a big plastic penis dildo. We even end up in bed in a faraway country, somewhere in Latin America, of course I will not say where, but it’s not the usual oppressive sex where you worry about her last lover. Then, when I can no longer control myself, I explode. I come with Claudia Schiffer, she comes with her plastic electric dildo, I come with this horrible thing, it’s called uh, a penis. Cindy Crawford comes with her plastic penis dildo. We have a nice talk, we have tea, we talk about movies. That would be ideal sex for me today.
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