It perpetuates ability based oppression and hierarchy.

There are serious material forces behind oppression and hierarchy, someone calling someone stupid is not one of them, and focusing on language is a pretty liberal tactic. Everyone could stop calling each other stupid or dumb or lame or whatever and nothing would change, because no employer would change their minds about hiring disabled people, public services for them wouldn’t be better funded and they wouldn’t get better healthcare, because changing the language doesn’t change the structures, and it’s the structures that are important here, otherwise it is just putting the cart before the horse. Better language is good to make people feel included and to not emotionally hurt marginalized groups. For instance using autistic as an insult creates a hostile environment towards autistic people. Calling someone stupid more or less offends the person you are calling stupid and no one else really, because that’s just how it is used. Tbh I don’t know how everyone takes it, but as a personal anecdote, I know my cousin is mentally challenged and I’ve never gotten the impression words like that affect him at all, and he uses them himself all the time.

It’s good to police outright ableist slurs, but I don’t see this as fruitful. Should we police “fuck” too? Because when you say “fuck this” you are implying sexual violence and domination. There is an incredible wealth of words you can find some kind of problematic root to it. At some point I think it stops making a community more inclusive and just makes it more sterile because people have to constantly second guess themselves out of using extremely common words.