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How to wash an uncircumcised dick
You gently pull back the foreskin and on the skins that’s revealed, you rinse, lather, and rinse again. Repeat as needed until any excess mess and suds are removed and rubbing the skin feels smooth but not slippery or slimy. Do the same for the head, rubbing gently in circles with the pad of your thumb. I’m being extra specific because if you’ve never washed your dick there’s probably some nasty shit in there. You’re lucky you haven’t gotten an infection. Also, the little white nodules on the back of the head are probably pearly penile papules. They are not pimples do not try to pop them. Like, Google the papules things to make sure we’re talking about the same thing but I’m like 99% sure you shouldn’t pop pimples on your dick anyway
How to wash a circumcised dick
I dunno I’ve never had one how hard could it be just wash it
yeah just throw a bar of soap at a circumcised dick and that’s all the maintenance it requires
It’s really not much different for uncircumcised dicks but I’ve found that uncircumcised folks asking me how to wash their dicks tend to have been deeply failed by their parents whereas circumcised people are simply angry about their lost foreskin and are rebelling by not showering. Therefore they respond better to tough love
I’m now imagining a shower marketed to chuds as the extra manly way to start your day, where you just hammer on a big red button and then get blasted with large chunks of soap and ice cold high pressure water jets. Afterwards, you kneel in the shower in the same pose as Arnie at the start of the Terminator movies while you get air dried by an artificial tornado.
Of course, it doesn’t actually clean you, uses 10 times as much water and energy as a normal hot shower would and also fucking hurts, but these are small concessions for owning the soyboys who have never taken a proper KleanStorm shower before brewing their black rifle morning coffee.
