For the last two years I’ve had the pleasure of working with a reganite boomer. He’s a nice guy, not exceptionally outwardly racist(tho still racist). Just easily spun up in a frenzy over whatever is this week’s reactionary boomer complaint. But all in all, the guy is just mislead and damaged after decades of red scare propaganda.
To him, socialism and communism are bad words. Chynia is the most evil place. The economy will be trickling any day now. And POC generally had it coming.
Well, I’ve spent every single available moment for the last two years trying to get through to him. Trying to deprogram him. Little bit by little bit, slowly wearing his defenses down.
He’s a self described libertarian. But like most libertarians, he has no idea what that word means. His ideology is trumpism.
But there has always been a weak link in his armor. He hates the police. He will bring me police struggle sessions frequently because he disagrees with the gop love affair with police. So naturally, I found my way in.
Ever since BLM went mainstream last year, he has had almost daily “lawless rioters and looters” vs “Out of control police” struggle sessions. And I’ve been here helping him understand the relationship between the police, the state, BIPOC, the status quo, and capitalism. I’ve helped him understand that the news media will always just repeat what the police say as if it’s true. And the police always lie. They lie and have never stopped.
Well, all that preamble just to say that it finally happened. I finally broke through yesterday and I put something in his head that I know he can’t get out.
Slightly more context: The school shooting in tennessee last Monday looks like it was less “deranged gunman shoots at police and is killed” and more like “cop shot himself, other cops hear shots fired and kill a child in return.”
I was using this story to illustrate to him how news narratives change, how passive voices work, and how police lie. And I spent a few hours having a good discussion about policing and the news. And thanks to hexbear’s official podcast Citations Needed, I was doing a good job.
And then it happened. I managed to plant the greatest seed of doubt to date. Halfway through the day, he came over to talk some more about how every single authority lies to you in an effort to control what you think. <- his words not mine
And I decided to take advantage of the moment and it went a little something like this: “Yeah, everything you’ve ever hated, you hated because someone with authority lied to you.” -Me, MehrunesLaser
“You know, I think you’re right. The news lies, the police lie, the president lies, the fbi lies, the cia lies. Everyone lies.” Him, BoomerBuddy
“Do you think they lied about the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq?” -ML
“I’m sure of it. We never found those weapons.” -BB
“Did they lie about vietnam?” -ML
“Well yeah, I knew that back in the day.” -BB
And then it happened:
“Are they lying about china?” -ML
“Well, I mean…” -BB
“Are they lying about the danger at the border?” -ML
“…” -BB
And he never did answer those questions. But I can tell he spent the rest of the day thinking about it. That’s it. That’s all I have. I just wanted to share a fun little moment that happened at work and didn’t have anywhere else to share it.
If you sat through all of this, thanks for your service. You’re a real trooper.
That sounds incredible. I don’t know if he’ll stick with it or try to rationalise it away. But still, you’ve done a great job so far. More importantly you haven’t driven him away and managed to get through to him at a level he’s comfortable with. Kudos.
The trick isn’t to debate. You’re trying to have a conversation, and you want to have it on their terms. Too much pushing or debating just calcifies their beliefs. You really want to try and build a friendship first, then start the deprogramming.
A lot of these people carry the beliefs that they carry through a combination of “my dad voted X so I vote X” and various parasocial relationships with radio/tv personalities over the years. For the things you want to say to carry any weight, the other person must first value what you say. And that starts with friendship.
o7 to a real one
Thanks. Honestly, it’s fun. More than anything, I’m trying to find common ground and grow a friendship. I’m not trying to debate, and I think it’s important people understand that debate is for nerds. No one has ever changed their mind after a debate. But for better or worse, plenty of people have their minds changed by their friends.
This is it. It’s about listening, developing relationships, building common ground, and then getting to truth.
I mean, everything in leftwing space is about buying relationships, listening, being friendly and compasionate and understanding, and cutting through lies. Arguing and debates are for dummies who aren’t interested in building movements.
Great to hear such a good success story.
:rosa-salute:
Thanks. We don’t talk enough about the small little tiny bits of praxis we can do in our immediate lives. We all want to be part of some vanguard overthrowing the status quo. But honestly, if all we do is infect the minds around us with the seeds of doubt, capitalism will grow those seeds with crisis after crisis.
Red scare boomer: I’m more of a Dasha fan tbh
People can really go through an entire life and never question the shit they were taught as children?
People were born before the internet. So finding good sources for information was a chore. Your options were your circle of friends, the newspaper, the television, or the radio. Sure, people could go to the library, but it’s nearly impossible to get the average person to read a wiki page on their phones today. So the likelihood a person in the 80s would be motivated to go out of their way to read a book is near zero. Especially if throughout this time they were some kind of successful(like my coworker). And all of this assumes that the information available to them wasn’t already filtered through a pro-usa lens.
Welcome to the unique crossroads between cia influence, american exceptionalism, red scare, poor education, and white privilege that is the average sufferer of boomer brain.
