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For me the answer was cognitive behavioral therapy. I read the book Feeling Good by David Burns, which is basically a field manual for CBT, and it pulled me out of a spiral I had been in for years.
DM me if you want a PDF, I know I’ve posted it on this site before somewhere. Come hang out in /c/mentalhealth if you don’t already. Love yourself& know that you are loved comrade :meow-hug:
There’s also Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, whose name will appeal to people here, which is similar to CBT but works better for people with like ADHD and other stuff (apparently). There’s an app for it that’s also (apparently) good but I can’t personally vouch for it as I’m too lazy to use it.
Have you tried putting on a shit eating grin and holding up an imaginary wine glass to the make believe camera every time you have a flare up?
This may sound weird but one thing that helped me was trying to get into the mentality of “this doesn’t help anyone, even if I do legit suck beating myself up over it accomplishes nothing.”
It helped me realize that I don’t have forever on this earth and wallowing in the things I don’t like about myself eats up time I could be using to have fun and enjoy what time I got.
It’s a really good idea to get off the internet, exercise, and also find something you like that you can actually focus on and grind. Stuff like that deprives your head of mental space for nasty thoughts. Also, I don’t know you, but is your self hatred maybe related on social issues? Like, does it maybe in part start because you feel inadequate at a social setting?
