No gods, no masters. You can be a contributing member of this group without being in charge. I know the feeling of not having a home, both physically and virtually, it sucks, but at this point there’s no reason to leave your virtual home. Shit, just make a new account and start over. You shouldn’t have been using the same account name on here anyway.

While I wish to express sympathy, part of your pain seems to come from losing your power and authority as a mod (I’m not trying to diminish your actual feelings, as I’m sure you’re also upset about losing a portion of your identity and you might also feel betrayed by a group you considered your lib family among other feelings to which I can only imagine what those may be and how they feel) I hope that shows you first hand what that power feels like and why that hierarchy needs to be checked.

Here are my thoughts. I hope hearing them can help.

Gender is complicated, and deeply ingrained in society. It’s normal to have hang ups and various *phobias. The important thing is that those phobias are acknowledged and worked through, instead of embraced. In that sense, what you did was fine—you had a particular hang up, and you acknowledged it and discussed it with likeminded people.

The problem is, you also had a position of authority in the community, which came with its own set of problems.

Firstly, words can—and will—be taken out of context. In doing so, they cease to be a person attempting to work through a hangup, and become a value statement.

The second is that even with context, it raises questions of whether those hang ups influence other decisions.

The solution is for authority figures to be held to a higher standard of conduct. The price of helping to run a shitposting, therapeutic community is that you don’t get to shitpost as hard or be as emotionally open.

In the long run, you’re better within the community than above it or detached from it. I don’t take your demodding as a mark against your character, but rather as a realignment of the relationship you have with people in the community.

That doesn’t mean that your efforts to date should be ignored. You stepped up, at short notice, to help manage a community. That deserves praise, regardless of the outcome, or whether you choose to remain here.

Just make a new account. It’s the great thing about online. New account, new person. Remake yourself into the person you want to be. Always be mindful, it’s not always easy.

Growth hurts.

TBH, it’s a little disconcerting you’d be punished in such a manner, when it seems like you’re talking about personal experiences, inadvertently caused offense, and sincerely apologized. I mean, it’s great that you’re not kicked out of here entirely, but still, sometimes I feel like segments of the left could be a bit more forgiving. I guess that’s just how it is - if you want to have authority in a leftist circle, you kind of need to be a robot. And use different accounts for posting and being a boss I guess?

I doubt you caused any lasting harm to anyone. Give it a few days, and if you decide you like it here, stick around, I doubt this is a burden you’ll have to carry with you forever. I don’t really know you at all, but you seem like a good person to me.

Nothing feels worse than accidentally upsetting someone you care about, and them holding it against you despite efforts to make it better. But the pain should fade with time. Take care of yourself.

You’ll be deeply missed on this site :( I’m looking forward to what comes of your discord/own podcast!