What are your thoughts on 2021 in personal life and in general?
Do you even have to ask? :agony-deep:
Mine was garbage lol. I’m trying to think of a single good thing that happened to me this year and I’m unable to. I can easily think of 10 bad things that happened though. My band broke up, I got shitcanned (currently working a shit job that I hate), my cat died and so on.
This year was definitive proof that every year from now is just going to be a repeat of 2020 except worse. It’s fucking bleak. :doomer:
This will go down for me as the worst year ever. I’d be hesitant to say rock bottom in terms of lows, but I won’t because it can always get worse. I, uh, really don’t see things turning around in the USA anytime soon.
Sorry to hear that comrade. This was one of the worst years for me as well. I’d say I hope that next year will be better but I said that every year and it just gets worse. Turns out that hope is worthless in hellworld.
At this point I can sort of deal with it getting worse, I mean it depends on what and how it gets bad, but I just want my grief over mom passing to let up.
the only thing that will help that is time. it’s just a fact. I think the healthiest and most helpful thing to do is to accept the fact that you’re going to be sad for a while, but also not to be frightened by it because you know that it will pass with time. just engage with your sadness for what it is.
it will probably take about 6 months to really let up. that sucks, but it’s also important to recognize because the context helps you avoid a doom spiral.
I got a new boss this year and they really put me on the treadmill to get a lot of shit done. No planning, just throwing out impossible deadlines and watching me struggle to meet them while training up a whole new team to become familiar with the codebase.
I really fell into the trap of working as hard as I could and sacrificing my personal life, hobbies, and fitness, to the point where I am in the early stages of hypertension. I was not allowed to take a vacation because of deadlines, until the end of the year where I would have to use it or lose it, and when I finally took the vacation, I finally realized “Why the fuck am I doing this to myself”? After I came back from vacation I significantly pulled back from work emotionally. If they don’t plan things, well then it’s not my fault if things don’t get done when they want them done. It’s not my fault that I am the single point of failure for the codebase. It’s not my fault they don’t listen to what I say, and not my fault when what I warned them would happen, happens. So, now I just log in, do the bare minimum to keep myself out of trouble (which is still 10x more than the rest of the team), and put my energy back into my personal life, and I am far happier.
The point of this story is not to solicit pity, because I am well aware that my situation is probably one of the more comfortable and secure ones out there. The point is to show that, mentally there are many things that you can do to injure yourself or make yourself unhealthy. I literally fucked up my own blood pressure by being so stressed out and anxious.
Try and remember that if you died, your boss would immediately replace you and wouldn’t even remember you ever existed. Put all your energy into your personal well being and those close to you.
I’ve had worse. I am not hugely optimistic about the future, but I’ve been very lucky and there’s a lot in my life that I have to be thankful for, so I’m trying to appreciate what I have while I still have it.
