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CW/SV: Extreme violence inflicted on women

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timetovent [she/her]@hexbear.net
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I regularly oscillate between two states these days: a state of bliss, characterized by empty-headedness and paralysis, and then there is an acute state of wanting to behead every rapist in the world personally.

I’ve been raped twice. Once, as a kid, once as an adult. Sexually assaulted more times than I can fucking count. I’m pissed. Like, really pissed. My husband is an awesome guy and he’s dragging around my dead weight ass. I can hardly fucking move the PTSD is so strong. No therapy works. Drugs only make my head empty. I haven’t had a job in the entire time my husband has known me. I was an all A student and worked in a good, highly technical field that can save hundreds or even thousands lives all over the world. I haven’t made a single meal for my husband in the entire time he’s known me even though I fucking like cooking. I can’t fucking cook anymore until the urge to eat is so strong and I’m so boney I look like a holocaust survivor. So, my husband takes it into his own hands to take care of me and make sure I’m fed.

I can’t even fucking shave my legs any more. Why? Well after my rapist beat my tit bloody to the point that enough blood came out of it to fill a glass of water, I through some insane persuasion skill check managed to get him out of my apartment. I froze my tit and bandaged it up and got fucking black-out wasted in the shower scrubbing myself clean until my legs bled. I have scars from that. So every time I try to soap up my legs and get them ready for shaving I just remember that. So I can’t even have nice things like simple hygiene things that make me feel better.

Of course, I didn’t report this shit to the police. FUCK THE POLICE. Those motherfuckers have a 0.003% chance to test a rape kit in my area. If you’re a little girl you might be lucky enough to have an abysmal chance to get it tested! A full grown woman? NO CHANCE. Wanna know how I know that stat? I googled it right after I got raped. Fun fact. FUCK THE POLICE. I am so fucking LIVID at people saying I should have reported it to the cops when I try to vent to them. It takes EVERY INCH OF MY WILLPOWER to not go feral and eat the FACE of whoever says that shit.

Healthcare? THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS DON’T CARE. I’m still paying for the nerve damage in my tit. No one gives a damn about helping victims recover, not even so-called ‘Women’s Organizations’. It’s a fucking charity profit scheme designed to give their CEO’s 300k/yr salaries and everyone else JACK SHIT. I had a STUPID FUCKING HIGH UP MANAGER OF A HEALTHCARE COMPANY say ‘oh well I’m sorry you were assaulted but we won’t cover treatment of this area as its cosmetic’ BITCH I WILL CANNIBALIZE YOU AND HOSE YOU DOWN WITH THE NEVERENDING BLOOD FROM MY TEAT

I AM A FERAL COMMUNIST AND I DEMAND REVOLUTION.

And don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine and empty-headed when I wake up tomorrow.

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