worlds sickest man
Me: “I’d like to see Bolsonaro wriggle his way out of this one!”
Bolsonaro: crawls out, barely alive, damaged beyond repair and leaking fluids
Me: “Ah, well. Neverth-”
Bolsonaro: Catches the next strain of Covid on the way out of the hospital and just crawls back inside
Maybe the guy who stabbed him was some kind of surgeon wizard or something. He seems to be stuck in the kind of perpetual sickness and suffering that is usually just described in religion. I honestly hope he makes it out of this one, because the only thing waiting for him on the other side is the same thing again plus gout or river blindness or something. The world is not often fair, but it seems we can at least trust it to keep piling diseases on Jair Bolsonaro.
fam, how many times does this fucker gotta go to hospital before he dies
he got stabbed once so I think he just keeps going back over complications from that , constipation, and covid
can somebody stab him again? they clearly didn’t do a good enough job last time
He had an intestinal obstruction? Does that just mean he was shoving things up his ass and they got stuck?
Unfortunately it just means that he either is chronically addicted to opiates, which would cause poop to back up for miles; or has so much scar tissue from the stabbing, and the surgery to repair the stab wound, that his intestines get repeatedly ‘locked up’ (living tissue becoming incarcerated by scar tissue, cutting off blood flow) during the normal bubbleguts motion of peristalsis. Think of someone trying to twist one of your testicles off and you have the general idea.
Probably a little bit from column A and a little bit from column B. Almost certainly living in debilitating chronic pain.
I’m fairly convinced at this point that he’s an Avatar of Nurgle, the God of Plagues
He’s in the hospital more than me, and I’m a chronically ill person with a collapsing skeleton that’s more titanium than bone at this point.
Pretty sure he doesn’t even poop at this point, they just surgically remove a massive shit log on a monthly basis.
