Honestly I don’t meet the Yanks all that much regularly. I have a couple friends who I see semi frequently, and they’re obviously ok. The Americans here at Hexbear are super cool. Since Covid lockdowns are breaking, I’ve been seeing more of them randomly. And in the conversations with them, I’m seeing a lot of mean-ish comments along the lines of “haha, you did something I’m not used to”.
For example, in the past month, I’ve gotten called out for:
- asking a guy at a literal commie beer event if he was a “comrade”
- using the metric system
- moving away from a boring conversation topic by asking a person what their job is, without a good convo transition
- saying colonisation changed African countries
- saying conservatives care more about aesthetics
- joking that I pray to Lenin every morning (thank you lib for pointing out that this isn’t what socialism is)
Honestly sarcasm is good and fine with friends. Like, if the love is clearly there, then ya tease me a bit. Dunno, but it feels like these people treat conversations as a competitive sport. Oh ya, these people are all massive libs as well.
I got called ‘a fucking commie’ by a fascist furry (I’m not even joking the fella proudly shows off pics of his time at the local convention. Red fox in German field grey) co-worker for using Celsius, and then he looked at my hat then saw the actual Soviet pin that’s been lodged in my hat for years that nobody other than a ukrainian noticed and his eyes went wide and actually started screaming loudly “you’re a fucking communist”
I also got called out for a pin on my bag. A guy at a mall stopped me, asked me why I had a sickle and hammer. I just kind of laughed and he said his dad died in the Korean War. He said I should get arrested and killed, then it was like the one video of the “why are you closed??” guy. He followed me around and tried rousing other people into a chant against me, shouting “communist! communist!” and then he’d get frustrated like “why doesn’t anyone care???” I quickly left.
Reddit-brain leaking into offline? When you describe “these people treat conversations as a competitive sport” all I can think of is how every single interaction on reddit is a competition where one person is trying to get another person downvoted so they can get upvoted and “win” the conversation.
Perhaps what I’ve considered to be reddit-brain is just american-brain and I never realised it.
Never spoken to an American in my life but I wouldn’t have thought anybody from the country responsible for “/s” would be remotely capable of using sarcasm
Australian here (sort of), no they don’t seem to be super snarky compared to other people I’m around. There is a form of anglo masculine friendship that involves covering over any real emotional intimacy with almost constant jokes and jockeying for clout.
There is a form of anglo masculine friendship that involves covering over any real emotional intimacy with almost constant jokes and jockeying for clout.
Ya I have no patience for this nowadays. Thank you to leftism (and feminism) for pointing this out, so I can avoid it.
Same thing for me. Just like your comment. Thanks for writing it!
I’m not very “sensory” and intimate with my relations, but I always encourage it and never treat people’s emotions as a joke.
I used to think I wasn’t a “very touch and feel person”, but a lot of that had to do with social programming. (I’m still not very touchy, but that has to do with consent (knowing I’ll be touched), personality of the other person and my sensory issues.) Kinda like “being Rational” is for internetizens. It was a way to project what I wanted to be as a way to cope with not having my emotional needs met (nor the abilities to meet them!). The same goes for smiling and other very normal human things that for some reason our society pathologized.
All my homies hate is a strong word, it gives you gastritis disapprove of toxic masculinity.
There is a form of anglo masculine friendship that involves covering over any real emotional intimacy with almost constant jokes and jockeying for clout.
This. At my workplace rather than asking a coworker “Is anything wrong?” it’s usually “Damn! You look like shit. What happened last night, man?”
This is hard for me to answer since I’m American myself, but I’ve had at least some exposure to folks from other cultures. And I try to be a sort of armchair sociologist. But take what I say with a grain of salt:
The snarkiness is mainly limited to online spaces and as someone else pointed out, between some masculine friendships in younger folks meant to hide real intimacy. Overall in person, Americans are very non-confrontational, cowardly, and superficial. There’s this expectation for example, that everyone here should make conversational small talk and be generally pleasant. Bluntness and being forthright is frowned upon. If someone asks you “how are you?”, you’re expected to just say “I’m fine, how are you?” And the initial asker is expected to say “I’m fine”. If you’re not fine, you usually aren’t supposed to say so as a response, not even to friends.
The confrontational thing, idk it feels a little harder to describe. I think you’d be surprised how much you can get away with in the US if you’re willing to deal with disapproving looks and judgmental thoughts. I recently asked here about Americans’ experiences not standing for the national anthem at sporting events. I was expecting a lot more “some dude yelled at me and threatened me until I stood up”. But it was mostly just getting looks and people not saying anything, despite it almost certainly being noticed by everyone around and 99% thinking you must be some asshole who doesn’t love America.
I think it relates to how capitalism alienates us from each other, breaks apart real communities, and prevents close relationships. And also the suburban lifestyle of giving every (white, middle class) person their own little fiefdom.
