46 points

My grandpa was a poo boy in the KGB. His handlers would ask him “how many poos did moscow take” and he would have to say more poos than there actually were, lest the KGB assign him a poo boy poo boy. The poo quota was more important than the reality of poo.

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13 points
14 points

It is not something to joke about. For the rest of his life, if he took a poo he would cry and announce to everyone that he took three poos. Under communism, any of us could be a spy.

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4 points

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

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40 points

I just want to sit every liberal down and make them take a crash course on basic logistics. How the hell is “big brother” actually supposed to watch everyone? If you could have 1 agent watching 10 people, that would mean almost 10% of the population would be employed as a “watcher” everyone would know someone whose job is to watch everyone else, it would be the most common job in the country. And of course the obvious bit of “who watches the watchers” which would require a practically infinite number of people to watch these watchers to make sure they aren’t thinking about freedom and democracy.

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18 points

But think about it, this is a great way to counter unemployment. How else could the СССР give anyone a job? Just keep people watching around what others are doing!

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8 points

What does the Watcher do when two of his targets have a phone call at the same time, how can he listen in to me discussing the weather while my neighbor talks to her mother about an upcoming wedding.

There is a chance that every detail of the wedding won’t get passed on to the KGB, it would be a disaster! I propose at least three watchers per person, that will fix it.

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36 points

Exactly. You were watched to see what you were reading in the toilet while you had diarrhea and shat your guts out. There was a KGB agent at every toilet window watching these scenes and taking notes.

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27 points

A KGB agent is hiding behind an opaque window, watching a man grunting violently while sitting on his house’s toilet. He nods and pulls out a notebook and a pen. “Stool consistency: 3”, he writes. Andrei could already smell that promotion (and something else).

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8 points

That agent could smell revisionism in every shitter.

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19 points

Love story between the person on the toilet and their designated KGB agent ❤️

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24 points

As always libs project their actual circumstances living under surveillance capitalism.

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24 points

“commies killed my family” vibes

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22 points

It’s not even that far off, she literally always finds a way to mention and talk shit about ‘‘MuH Stalin, gulags, surveillance, authoritarian, prison, opression’’ etc even if it has nothing to do with it. She’s literally trying her hardest to appeal to westoids and libs in general.

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16 points

She’s literally trying her hardest to appeal to westoids and libs in general.

Who then call her subhuman and want her dead with all other citizens of Russia.

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Shit Reactionaries Say

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