The rent is too damn high, can’t have shit in California
They’re gonna bury me with my badge
Rent a hotel room for a night
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
Are there any cheap hotels/motels near you? Might be the nuclear option and would definitely give off enormous “I’m cheating on my wife” vibes but it would do
No joke just fuck them in some secluded place in public if you’re both into that