I don’t have anything to look forward to in life except money entering my direct deposit every two weeks and back catalogs of podcasts. I don’t even want to listen to music anymore.
Do stuff. See new things. Nature. I work 50-60 hours a week at the moment, but on my day off I always go to a museum or a big park. Does wonders for soul.
And although I get burnt out sometimes, the more you do, the more you do. Back when I was a student I did as little as possible. Worked subsistence wage for a basic quality of life. Now that I’ve got much more money coming in, fuck it, on the weekend if I turn up somewhere and some historic house is 20 quid to get in, I can easily drop 20 quid on it no worries. Work feels shit when you’re spending the money to survive. It feels great when you’re spending it to do things you previously couldn’t.
I don’t know if it’s just in my genes, but I remember seeing the tickers on my dad and my grandma. I was in awe. They’re always totally nonstop. Grans 89 and broke her ankle the other week by flipping her three wheeled bike from riding it too fast round a bend. Now I’m starting to get it. My motors running and it’s almost more comfortable to keep it running than to switch it on and off all day.
It’ll do wonders for your sleep quality too.
Mood. I have felt this way myself many times. I don’t know if it helps at all, but it didn’t last forever for me, so I hope maybe it won’t last forever for you.
Depression makes everything so damn hard. Have you asked a doctor about medication? Sometimes anti-depressants and therapy can give you enough motivation to try something new and get out of that rut. If you get that energy back you should try something new that involves people if you have time, like joining a community garden or joining an org. Something that gives you a goal that matters to you. Because you matter.
Relatable.
Same, but vaguely employed with a short-term tutoring grift. But hey, I’m 46 episodes away from being current on Death is Just Around the Corner & while everything the host MSJ is saying seems to ring true, it’s definitely making things worse (:
How weary, stale, flat, and unprofitable Seem to me all the uses of this world! Fie on’t! O fie! ’tis an unweeded garden, That grows to seed; things rank and gross in nature Possess it merely. That it should come to this!
This quote stuck in my mind the first time I read it, written at the beginning of capitalism it still strikes a chord with all the grist for the mill. When I am inevitably drafted into the reserve army of labor I only hope to frag my commanding officer.
