Welcome to the Melbourne Community Daily Discussion Thread.
I met bar guy’s friends tonight and there was one there I could tell that had a little crush on him. You can sort of tell by the way someone interacts with another person, because she was only interacting like that with him.
I find out more about this girl, and she’s pretty much got the exact same interests as the dude, and the way they interacted was just effortless and it seemed like they had a great connection.
Compare that to me, I pretty much don’t have anything in common with him, we don’t like the same movies or music, or things in general. I am a shy and awkward piece of shit who for some reason has started feeling nervous around him as well. I lose my sense of self, it’s not like I had one to begin with anyway. I’m an average Joe, an uncultured swine.
The thought of breaking up with him makes me incredibly sad. However, I don’t want to force what isn’t there. I think he is only with me because I gave him a chance. I could be the most stale person in the room but because I was there for him when he needed it and can meet his physical touch needs, it’s alright. That’s why I don’t have a clear gut feeling on how to proceed.
All this coupled with uni kicking my ass, not sleeping enough, low iron, ADHD, brain fog and financial strain is absolutely fucking killing me.
I just wish things would get better!
I totally understand how you feel. But he’s obviously choosing you for a reason.
It’s better to have a partner who isn’t into exactly the same stuff as you because it can get pretty stale. But even within that there can be differences. Like my partner and I like anime, but we don’t watch the same genre (though we do watch Demon Slayer and Jujutsu Kaisen together). And similar with video games, there are some we enjoy together, but I don’t enjoy games like Destiny or card games, and they’re not a huge fan of The Sims, or visual novels. But we both hype each other up for our interests and even ones we don’t have any major interest in. It’d be pretty boring to have a partner be into the exact same thing as you I reckon.
You’re only seeing a small portion of that friend, and bar guy isn’t with her, he’s with you. Please be kinder to yourself - you are not a piece of shit, thank you very much. You are exactly who you are, with all of your interests, your own way of viewing the world and others. Comparison is the thief of joy – celebrate who YOU are. Hope you get some iron, some sleep, some water. You’re rad!!
You’re clearly not ready to give up on this thing you have going. So don’t. Maybe it won’t work out. Maybe it will. But whatever the secret sauce of successful relationships is, it’s more than the same tastes in everything or some formula you can calculate. Don’t try to analyze why you two are together. Just ride the wave and see where it leads.
You were there for him when he needed it. That’s a pretty solid foundation, hopefully he’s there for you when you need him. Taste is personal and changes over time. Create some new memories. Don’t stress about the girl who he has a taste connection with, but you can always ask him about her or become friends with her too.
News flash: most couples have zero in common with each other. Common interests are great and all, but they don’t make a relationships. Shared experiences and building interests together is really what counts. I would say there is probably a good reason why this bar guy and his friend are not together, despite how much they have in common. There’s also the societal notion that women and men can’t just be friends which is completely not true. Don’t get in your head about this.
Fuck me Itzhak Perlman is good
Grey clouds loom overhead, in my head.
Rolling, rumbling, fill me up with dread;
Melancholic dreams as I lay in my bed.
Dread looms overhead, in my head.
Can we keep faith in what is said
When all the news fills me up with dread?
I turn away but clouds loom overhead,
Melancholic dreams in my head.
The end of the world happens in my bed,
Every night they fill me up with dread.
Intruding thoughts wonder if I’m dead
As grey clouds loom overhead.
Eating Kettle chilli chips with a mouth ulcer. Fuck yeh.
Sometimes the emotional release from a really good, dense therapy session is just… The whole body feels it. Something has been unblocked and is moving… but there is no fucking way I’m going to be able to do much else today. I arranged to meet up with a friend tonight, I would’ve asked for a rain check if it weren’t for the fact that I will probably have to give back the car in 6 days and I might not see her again for another 3 weeks until I finish housesitting, and all things considered it’s better for me to stay connected in person. (I don’t need to cook anything at least as I’ll be heating up premade food).
Think I’ll lie down and nap for a while - I feel like I’m giving into maladaptive procrastination by giving myself permission to put off everything else till tomorrow, including work.
But: it’s nothing mission critical, nobody else is relying on me for it, and I need to remember that nobody is going to be severely damaged by my doing that. On balance, this is a wise and intelligent and responsible thing to do given the bigger picture. Good afternoon. 💤
I love those sessions. It’s nourishing for the soul. And the feeling usually lingers (at least it does for me) for a while, unlike a run-of-the-mill session which often just feels like a tune up. Having a session where things just seem to click… yeap, that shit is top notch.
