Sluuuuuurrp

Sluuuuuurrp

Whelp, looks like this one’s dry, time to find a new host. Sorry, I mean, find a new tenant to host. So that I can latch onto them and suck out all their blood again.

:musical notes: Where is the rent? I must have the rent! Dollars dimes and nickels, I need them all right noooooow! :musical notes:

After renting out my guest house for $2000/mo, how am I supposed to come up with the other $400 for my monthly mortgage payments? Really in a bind here. My parents send me $2000/mo for general spending, but I don’t want to spend all that (saving up for a new BMW 🚗🚗). Should I raise their rents? Or should I switch to Air B&B?

Thx! Love you guys

Edit: I worked hard to get this place! My grandma died and left a paltry $300,000 inheritance for me. I spend half of that on the down payment for this home in an up and coming neighborhood. It’s still pretty slummy here, but new people are moving in all the time and soon I’ll feel safe going outside! Just figured I’d give some background for the haters saying I’m lazy 😎

Hello fellow small business men, I am looking for menacing brutes to intimidate my rent-controlled tenants. Does anyone know a good (non-union of course!) outfit for such a task? My tenants are frail and old, so I don’t mind hiring women (no fatties though).

Yours truly, Archibald Covington Maximilian Rex the Third III, Jr. Esq.