Tbh, this is why I don’t tell people I like anime.
I have the same apprehension, but anime is a medium. There’s a lot of disgusting books and Western movies around, and we don’t shame people for liking books and Western movies.
The problem with anime is that some of the most popular ones suffer from the issues described in the meme. Take death note for example, immensely popular. But the female characters are mere props with one massively problematic female character’s infatuation with the lead driving half the show. It’s just unwatchable if you don’t like that kind of thing.
Now try and find that but not somehow linked to high school.
Here’s some genre keywords for a start:
Adult Cast
Seinen/Josei
Chances are if those shows involve underage sexualization/unhealthy relationships, it doesn’t endorse them.
Edit: Also look for anime with kids as target audiences, they should have none of those things. On further introspection, that sums up to “look for shows that ain’t shounen or shoujo” lol.
And if you want some fan service that fits these requirements and is still wholesome I give you Goldenboy.