I hear they have a compact version of the computer gun called the laptop gun. It looks like a standard laptop, but actually hides a submachinegun. With a little bit of setup, it can be converted to a self-articulating, AI-targeted gun enplacement.

If you see someone in public in a laptop, you need to go up to them and ask them if the computer was made in America. If not, well, do what you need to do to protect your family and your country.

Yeah, this feels true so it must be true.

Yep, Xi tested it and if you visit China once ever and afterwards say the word “Disney” he shoots your head off with it.

source: anonymous

Dude my computer has been slow as fuck! I can’t believe this is why