I was diagnosed with ADHD and started on medication at 12, but not really told anything about what it meant for me or how to deal with it, and when I was 18 -literally when my parents dropped me off at college- was told I was autistic
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I am probably slightly older than many of the people on here (early 40s). When I was younger, not only did girls not have ADHD, but my parents specifically didn’t believe in mental illness in general. I grew up in a “the beatings will continue until morale improves” type of situation. And remember, this was before the internet was really a thing – Dial-up, AOL.com, etc.
After a gigantic nervous breakdown that resulted in some pretty bad decisions in my 20s, I got pregnant with my first. Wow! I have pregnancy medicaid! Wow! The ob/gyn thinks I may have some issues with depression! WowwieZowwie I see a psychiatrist! Congrats! Not only is it a baby boy, but it’s a diagnosed case of Major Depressive Disorder and ADD Inattentive type.
Of course, the USA being what it is, the only time I could actually see a doctor was when I was pregnant because otherwise I couldn’t get medicaid. So, after my first brief stint on medication, I at least learned what “normal” was supposed to act like and got really good at pretending. I also was (unknowingly) self medicating via a rather large addiction to caffeine and ephedrine, which used to be legal until some idiots overdosed and had heart attacks on it.
Today, as a nominal adult, I’m on actual medication for both issues. Unfortunately, because I am an adult, I am still trying to convince my psych that my adderal needs increased. I’m pretty sure my 15mg is just about enough to make me able to realize I am still in over my head most of the time. I’ve learned so well how to pretend to be neurotypical that I have trouble convincing my doctor that I am medicated just enough to keep my head sorta straight and to realize when I am fucking up without having the ability to fix it without burning way more spoons than I have.
And, that turned into a novel. Oops?
And, that turned into a novel. Oops?
this is the mark of the best posts. Thanks for sharing comrade!
I’ve learned so well how to pretend to be neurotypical that I have trouble convincing my doctor that I am medicated just enough to keep my head sorta straight and to realize when I am fucking up without having the ability to fix it without burning way more spoons than I have.
God damn if this isn’t one of my worst fears, I’ve gotten quite good at masking unless I’m distressed. Though, whenever I go through this particular thought loop, I always decide that in that case being misidentified would probably distress me enough for it to become apparent lol
I was in elementary school and my teachers were all like “Flakes is such a great student, he’s so far ahead of everyone else which is amazing because he doesn’t talk to anyone except for when he infodumps about video games or cartoons”
Got into a fight in the eighth grade where I almost dislocated the school bully’s jaw and got sent to the school psychologist
Spent like five minutes with her, and lo and behold, I was autistic.
I’m 19 and in college. I’ve had severe lifelong sleep issues that I just never thought much about. Did some research and turns out I have Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder. After talking to some people with it I found out it is usually comorbid with ADHD. I didn’t think much of it at first but after about 2 months I started considering the possibility that I had ADHD.
Basically for my entire life I’ve thought “Hmm most of my extended family maternally and paternally has ADHD, and all their stories about what it’s like for them sure is relatable, however I am just a lazy piece of shit and don’t want to discredit their legitimate struggles” and then after thinking maybe I did have ADHD I did a lot of research and turns out oh wait I do have it
Oh my god you have just changed my entire fucking life. I thought I was just a lazy asshat. That is me. Like. Completely. Just…holy fuckballs…
If they are allowed to follow their own schedules, e.g. sleeping from 4:00 am to 1:00 pm, their sleep is improved and they may not experience excessive daytime sleepiness.
If left to my own devices, I sleep from like 3am-noon give or take…
A chief difficulty of treating DSPD is in maintaining an earlier schedule after it has been established, as the patient’s body has a strong tendency to reset the sleeping schedule to its intrinsic late times.
I work opens (6am). It takes me weeks to get myself going to bed on time and getting up on time…and one fucking day to destroy it.
I am serious. I am sitting here just mouth agape. I did not know this was a thing. I didn’t know I was, if not normal, at least explainable.
Right? That’s exactly what I was feeling. It sucks too because I am a heavy, heavy sleeper. Right now, I sleep through my alarms which include: My phone alarm, two alarm clocks, a thing that vibrates my pillow, and a garage light on a timer positioned about 3 feet from my head
Yep. Just read the whole wikipedia thing and am feeling really called out right now (Insert Facebook “I’m in this image and I don’t like it” meme)…I have 2 alarms plus my fitbit that vibrates, captchas to turn the alarms off, and a horrendous addiction to coffee.
Fall asleep after midnight? Trouble with mornings? Comorbid with ADHD?
Fuck. Looks like I need to investigate this… glad every therapist I’ve ever had is just like “practice good sleep hygiene lol”.
EDIT: Reading that article further, I would like to put a restraining order on the author of that page because clearly they have been stalking me my entire life.
When I had a massive panic attack while writing an exam in school and had to be removed from the exam venue. Anxiety be like that sometimes. Also body dysmorphia and depression caused by a degenerative spinal deformity/disease
Knew something was up for a long time, didn’t really deal with it until early 20s when I realized it was definitely depression and started smoking weed to medicate. Fast forward 10 years to now and from listening to a bunch of people talk about it I’m fairly certain I have ADHD, hearing people talk about executive dysfunction and rejection sensitivity I was like oooooooooh damn, is that what all that is?
So pretty sure it’s some cocktail of depression/ADHD, tried weak SSRIs once and hated them so I’ve stuck to self-medicating with weed and vape nightly and have for 6+ years now. Hopefully moving to a legal state soon so it won’t be so fucking expensive.
Anyway, love my neurodiverse comrades :heart-sickle:
As for self medication, if you’re up for it, I suggest - carefully, start slow - trying psychedelics, too. Tryptamine ones specifically (psilocybin or dimethyltryptamine for example).
Definitely up for it, just don’t know where to start and I’m not growing shit in uncle ben’s bags and haven’t been motivated to try harder to find them.
If you’re looking for something simpler then I guess you could order some mimosa hostilis root bark and extract DMT from it (it’s stupidly easy and pretty quick). Though I wouldn’t recommend DMT if you’ve never done psychs - my first DMT trips were the most intense, life-transforming experiences of my life despite the fact I was familiar with psychedelics already.
Uncle Ben’s is on paper an easy approach but it’s incredibly prone to contaminations and pretty hit-or-miss in general. For a similar reason, staying away from growkits is also a good idea. I’ve written this as a guide towards a much more optimal approach; though it requires a bit more initial materials (nothing expensive though, except perhaps a pressure cooker if you don’t already have one). That approach will yield so much shrooms you’ll be giving them away - and it’s pretty fun caring for what is a fascinating life form on top of it.
See my quick outline here for mushrooms. If it’s DMT you’re more interested in, can’t go wrong with this starting point (though if you’ve got no previous experience or limited previous experience with psychedelics, do not start with DMT).
