Welcome to the Melbourne Community Daily Discussion Thread.
I went and bought those Aldi coffee beans, gave my espresso machine a good clean and attempted my first coffee in a long long time.
Took 2 attempts to get the extraction right and it’s not my sexiest milk pour but it was a damn fine cup of coffee ☕
Ted Cat telling me he is starving and needs another tin of fish and some of those delicious turkey crunchies
Stupid work anxiety, I’m so close to the end - just the equivalent of two FT weeks of work and I can leave forever instead of being in this strange limbo - but I just can’t sleep out of sheer dread. So much negativity instead of looking forward to new beginnings!
I was drifting off nicely to sleep with this book when I decided to switch off the lamp and remembered I needed to set the alarm… that woke me right up with a pang of realisation followed by a sinking feeling of sadness. I don’t remember feeling this bad even at school. I’ll have to will myself to sleep and work and find purpose through this quagmire of deep seated aversion!
E: I was up till 4:30 am. halp
It’ll be ok, it’s not long to go, just take one day at a time and deal with what comes when it happens.
Just think of the freedom after you’re done and and what new opportunities await you.
I haven’t set myself up very well for this first of the one-day-at-a-times, went to sleep so late I feel like a zombie today. I suspect what’s making it hard to anticipate the future is that I could have freedom NOW by just walking away. I have to remind myself I’m doing this for my colleagues (and some money).
I downloaded an app on my phone that allows you to block other apps and websites.
It also allows you to set it up so you cannot uninstall it if you get “cravings”.
I blocked all socials and Reddit and honestly I feel so much better it’s crazy. I love having my headspace free of outrage and negativity drawn from an online source.
Okay okay okay. I have accepted I’ve developed some severe anxiety/avoidance around work. This is a Thing. However, I don’t need to fix it that immediately, that’s why I’m on casual now and not doing ongoing jobs. I’m gonna roll with it and see the opportunities I have ahead of me instead. I designed this flexibility in!
Instead of feeling bad all day I can tick off some things that’ll make me feel good. Yesterday I “accidentally” did a heap of long overdue clothes organisation. Today perhaps I can clear out the gross carport. And maybe get started on my very overdue Dead Plant Clearout. The graveyard stares at me sullenly.
