🚫 Conditional apologies:

• “I’m sorry if…”
• “I’m sorry but…”
• “I’m sorry for [not the main thing you should be apologizing for]…”

🚫 Apologizing on behalf of the recipient:

• “I’m sorry you feel that way”
• “I’m sorry you came to that conclusion”

🚫 Insulting the intelligence of the recipient by way of apology:

• “I’m sorry for not being more clear”
• “I’m sorry about being so misleading”

🚫 Non-apologies:

• “I apologize for…”
• “It’s regrettable that…”
• “It was terrible to…”

When in doubt, keep it simple. Get the main apology out ASAP, then carefully start saying your piece afterward. Focus on yourself if the situation demands explaining yourself (many don’t). Be extremely careful to speak only constructively about other individuals during the apology (if you can’t say something nice…).

For example: “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”

pulls out ukulele

“My mommy made me write this because you got your fee fees hurt”

I am 100% right, but since saying “sorry” is the only way you might shut up…