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my mom's way of 'trying to help' is to enflame my anxiety to the max.

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epic_gamer_2007 [he/him]@hexbear.net
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was just working on homework while vibing in a discord call with friends. my mom started texting me asking about stuff. I told her that I was getting just a little stress over a relationship, but it was just peeking out, and it wasn’t really on my mind.

she called me and forced me to talk about the anxiety and I kept trying to tell her that I didn’t want to talk about it. she somehow twisted me not knowing what someone thought of me into me being friendzoned, which triggers the ever-living fuck out of my depression (I fucking hate ‘nice guys’ because I was one for a full summer, and I hate myself for what I did during that time). eventually I just told her to stop and we ended the call.

i texted her and told her not to call me about that kind of stuff in the future because I was focused on what I was doing. she texted sorry, and then IMMEDIATELY said that if I was struggling to focus on things I should seek help.

so, the thing is - I WENT TO A THERAPIST FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST MONTH after not having any help from my parents after dealing with depression for the past 4 YEARS. it took me being out of the house long enough to actually recognize my social anxiety that was leading to my depression for my parents to finally recognize that maybe I should see a therapist?

and now, when I have very rarely been actually stressed about something - now that she is just pushing that thing into my mind, stressing my anxiety to the max - NOW is when she thinks I should really seek help. not when I was on the verge of having -some really bad- thoughts back in high school. not when I was crying during family vacations that I was forced to go on when I would’ve preferred my few distractions at home.

it’s now, when I’m not stuck under her control, and when one small thing has a slight chance of being affected - my fucking college grades.

as an arts major.

fuck this

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