Even other neurodivergent people will enable behaviors that trigger RSD, maybe because it doesn’t hurt them as bad, or they’ve learned to cope with it better, or whatever. But anyway, we aren’t approaching the problem of RSD radically enough. We have to change the way we communicate with people on a fundamental level. Anti-ableism isnt just about not using certain naughty words. For neurodivergent people to be safe in society, it requires a completely radical rewiring of how communication works. I don’t know how that will work exactly. I understand that sometimes it causes problems with intersectionality (though I think the way people just throw the anti-ableism side of that discussion out the window completely is fucking disgusting, again this is something that even neurodivergent people will do, because intersection is complicated and people don’t like complicated things so they jump to one side or the other and for some reason ableism always loses out in those clashses) but I still think its incredibly important.
100% agree - small tangent but the way that rsd messes with your relationships to authority figures within the educational system is something that can totally fuck you over even if you perform well within that system.
my refusal of reading feedback on assignments and such due to the dread of having to face criticism even from teachers that are “cool” is coming back to bite me in the ass because i just keep pushing it further and further back into my mind bc of rsd even though i logically know that they’re trying to help me and it’s never as bad as i think it’s going to be. even if i know i’ve half-assed an assignment and i shouldn’t care as much about it it still hangs over me like a fucking cloud. & sure learning how to deal with that is part of having (undiagnosed) adhd or something similar but it still sucks.
i have no idea where i was going with this except something like the way we communicate is inextricably tied to our surroundings and giving teachers and nd kids ways of communicating that don’t lead to the kind of bullshit that grades are tied up in and so on is probably a small but important step. sorry for rambling you know how it is
edit: formatted for readability
oh shit I have ADD and this is something I’ve also had to learn how to deal with. It definitely sucks.
Correct me if I’m wrong, (and also I’m not trying to own you or anything like that just to be clear) but it seems like you’re unaware that ADD was reclassified as ADHD-PI, aka Primarily Inattentive type ADHD. Within the last couple decades, doctors/psyches realized that ADD and ADHD were two different presentations of the same condition so they reclassified everything as ADHD, but added 3 subtypes:
- Hyperactive-Impulsive (stereotypical ADHD type, actually the least common of the 3)
- Primarily Inattentive (fka ADD)
- Combined (most common type, think of it as having both ADD and ADHD)
They’ve also started to refer to them more as presentations of ADHD because the subtypes are more like regions on a spectrum rather than discrete categories, and people with ADHD can be more/less hyperactive and/or inattentive over time or in specific circumstances. For example, I was diagnosed with ADD initially back in the mid 2000s and I’m very much on the inattentive side of the spectrum, but I still display signs of hyperactivity on a somewhat regular basis. Namely I bounce my leg constantly, I pace around my house at least once a day, and I have some troubles with impulsivity and impatience.
TL:DR: ADD is a specific presentation of ADHD, so it makes perfect sense that you’ve dealt with RSD.
So I just learned this term and have incidentally been wondering if I have ASD/ADHD recently–
Is this unique to ADHD? Because while I’ve mostly been wondering about ASD in my case, this definitely resembles a pattern I’ve noticed in myself. I’ve had ridiculously debilitating meltdowns in response to thinking that I may be criticized, as in getting feedback on assignments like 27fireflies.
I think it’s unique to ASD/ADHD insofar as it has a neurodevelopmental basis in those cases. There are other things like Avoidant Personality Disorder that can have similar features to RSD, but seem to be caused by trauma / environmental factors. (Although I have no background in psychology, so take that with a grain of salt. This was just my impression from reading about it.)
I’m no expert, but its always seemed like to me that having an open line of communication where those issues can be expressed without judgement is the simplest way to negate the social effects of stuff caused by neurodivirgency. Shut up and listen to the people to find out what needs to be done, I guess.
Apparently I am wrong. Apparently it is actually up to neurodivergent people to like, talk to their therapist or whatever when they feel the effects of RSD. Society doesn’t need to change to make the world more equitable for people with disabilities!!! Its up to the disabled people to change things they pathologically can’t help!
Yeah, that’s def the wrong take and I’m sorry someone was throwing that at you. Being ND of course isn’t a free pass to lash out at people, but having compassion for mistakes is important.
What kind of behaviors trigger RSD? I’m trying to learn more about this.
Well specific to this case is strong authoritive sounding callouts. I don’t mind explanations at all. But tone matters a lot. The problem is that because i care about tone im getting accused of tone policing. Which isn’t even what tone policing means right? Tone policing is dismissing someone’s argument because they said it with emotion I thought?
Tone policing is a chud thing, I thought? Asking someone to mellow out is fine if you’re nice enough about it.
I’ve been accused of that when someone is straight up mansplaining to me and I tell them to knock it the fuck off lol
