My current partner said this about me on a text chain with her friends:
“Y’all this man’s body is not a wonderland, it’s a weird vending machine that sells caffeinated sludge & something pretending to be a protein shake.”
God I love her.
“…”
-the wind
“Fun fact!” - the fact was not fun.
“Smelly butt loveable”
A cuddly clam-eating otter
I’m single, but an econ student called me a tankie in a bar once