My current partner said this about me on a text chain with her friends:

“Y’all this man’s body is not a wonderland, it’s a weird vending machine that sells caffeinated sludge & something pretending to be a protein shake.”

God I love her.

12 points
*

“…”

-the wind

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“Fun fact!” - the fact was not fun.

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“Smelly butt loveable”

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A cuddly clam-eating otter

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4 points

I’m single, but an econ student called me a tankie in a bar once

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