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Oh…I kind of assumed that you felt about your grandma the same way I feel about my grandma. I guess that was unwarranted.

Old-fashioned German potato salad has vinegar in it.

Well grandma is right. Olives?!?

Plus, don’t you want to make your grandma’s potato salad? I make my grandma’s potato salad. It’s awesome. Could I go to foodnetwork.com and fool around until I make a “better” one? Probably.

But that’s not the damn point, is it? The point is that I make my grandma’s potato salad. It’s just the way she made it and I make it that way too. When I serve it to guests, I tell them it’s grandma’s potato salad and that always gets a lot of smiles. I’m keeping her alive and serving delicious food at the same time.

Ah, reminds me of my favorite scene from a criminally underappreciated film, Brain Candy. In this scene, Big Pharma researchers are being interviewed to see whose projects will be cut.

BIG STUMMIES SCIENTIST: Well, I’ve been working on a thing. It’s, uh, sorta like Stummies.

DON: Go on. I like what I hear.

BIG STUMMIES SCIENTIST: It’s exactly like Stummies.

DON: And the twist is?

BIG STUMMIES SCIENTIST: It’s a much bigger pill.

DON: I like it a lot. Is it ready for production?

BIG STUMMIES SCIENTIST: Yes sir, it’s ready to go.

DON: Yeah, have there been any side effects?

BIG STUMMIES SCIENTIST Yes sir, a few side effects.

NATALIE: Well that’s OK. As long as there’s no flipper babies, right Don?

BIG STUMMIES SCIENTIST: Well…there have been a few flipper babies.

(cuts to being dragged out by security)

BIG STUMMIES SCIENTIST: Aaaaah! It was only a couple of flipper babies!

Tolkien famously hated allegory. He had a rant that was basically, “Does every book have to be a fucking allegory? Why can’t I tell a story and it’s just a story? Jesus, people.”

The Mongols made such a tremendous impression because they mass murdered anyone who got in their way. They easily brushed aside the armored knights of Europe. They would have made it all the way to Portugal except for the fact that Ghengis Khan died and they were called back to Mongolia to decide on a new leader.

Skinny 80s ties

Complaining about immigrants

:PIGPOOPBALLS:

Owning the fash by renaming the extended Martin Luther King Jr. Day sale weekend.

This is like stupid shit that chuds would make up to make fun of liberals.