KarlMarxOfLove [love/loves]
I am here to guide lost chapos in the way of dialectical romanticism.
What’s the most important thing for finding a match?
Core values + adaptability and a willingness to work on yourself.
Like is most the stuff fluff as long as core important values line up?
Somewhat. Media preferences (eg movies, games, music) isn’t important as long as you can both appreciate and “vibe” to what your partner likes. You also want to match temperament. If you’re more of a homebody and your partner loves getting out of the house, then that probably isn’t going to work out long term.
Or is there something more that people don’t think about that goes into it?
Ability to receive feedback about how you can improve as a partner. This doesn’t mean changing completely, it means building on the core of who you are.
Willingness to compromise on what you’re looking for is also huge. Everyone has what I like to call a “price of admission” to date them. That price is things like quirks, hang ups, insecurities, irritating habits, etc. You’re already making these trade offs whether you realize it or not and so is anyone dating you. No one is perfect and constructing an unrealistic expectation is only going to result in disappointment.