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SearchMallet [he/him,comrade/them]

SearchMallet@hexbear.net
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“We Spaniards are an enlightened lot,” I say smugly as I walk through my dazzling city. “Our genocidio was much nicer than theirs.”

“Where did all the money come from to build this city, this grand crumbled empire, you ask? No fucking clue, I guess we just found it.”

We continue walking.

“Did i benefit from the empire? Shucks no friend, I traced my family history back 500 years, all 150,000 ancestors living at that time, and found no one participated in the empire. They all lived out in the woods, and every descendant since then has also lived in the woods. We have never lived in a society.”

I see a stupid American look on your face.

“What are we going to do about it?” I make a confused puppy face in return. “They’re all dead anyway I guess so what’s the point? Let’s just move on.”

We turn the corner.

“Apologize? No, the Zapatistas say that the capitalists shouldn’t apologize because what good would that do. So that means us leftists should do absolutely nothing,” I say, smugly.

Dumb Americans, I think, they really know nothing of history.

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That’s in reference to the questionnaires (mostly large low-paying US-based) corporations use to gauge how good a little worker you’ll be. It’s full of questions like that, “if I have free time at work, I…”, etc. I had to do one to work at a large grocery store a while ago. The manager came out after I finished and said, “the computer says I should definitely hire you” and now here I am.

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If there is a rule at work I disagree with, I…

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Kinda specific but sometimes when I start to bike (the first push-off) it feels like the chain ‘skips’ a beat and the pedals also ‘skip’ a beat. Is my chain too loose or something?

Also what are the best ways to keep your bike as theft-proof as possible in a city, that would be cool. I don’t even get nice bikes and they always get stolen with both a rear tire lock and a chain for the frame.

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Why do his legs look like cartoon hams, like you can see the bone and everything. Just why.

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Yeah I did, I went to the best one in town. He took one look at them and said they’re best off in the dumpster. I guess maybe you could melt the rubber back together? But if you took the sole off would it even come off the leather undamaged?

The made in England ones also used to have a warranty (idk if the other styles did too), which coincidentally ended one month before I bought mine. Big Shoe strikes again

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They were my daily boots for two years so 🤷‍♂️. I’ve been working on my feet often, but not that often, and not that hard. Just regular wear.

I even splurged on the “Made in England” :ukkk: ones. No idea, the sole split down the middle on both sides.

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To anyone reading this looking for new boots, in addition stay the fuck away from doc martens. They are not resoleable so after you break them in two years you’ll have to go buy another pair of €200 boots. I don’t care how nice they look.

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Joe Pera is amazing. The episode when he gets obsessed with Baba O’Reilly is one of the purest, blissful episodes of any tv show I’ve ever seen.

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I knew a guy like ten years ago who said he wanted to write for the onion. I asked him to give me some headlines and they were all basically like this. So I wonder if he settled.

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