the idea mostly applies to things like cooking, cleaning, child rearing etc

Do you have a primary source or explanation so I can understand you better?

My conception stems partially from the German Ideology and the Grundrisse. It is some internal basis for historical materialism and opens up his conceptions and methods a bit. There is a differentiation and openness for activity/work which differentiates wage-labour in capital from activity and work that is done earlier and in different settings.

In it he describes how - for society (my term) to exist - there has to be reproduction of people. This demands physical existence, relations to the physical work, relations to the mode of production and determines a way of life (which is later explained influences humans as much or more than humans could influence it, being determines conscious).

Within that way of life and growing population naturally a Verkehr (something like interaction or intercourse) of the individuals has to develop and the way of it is determined by production (while Marx mentions a few needs which have to fulfill he makes, especially later clear that they are infinite and grow, to subsist you have to fulfill a necessary part though).

Within reproduction there happens a separation of work for those sexual acts which are necessary for reproduction (which is obvious as there are - at least - two persons involved), later with birthing, sheltering, feeding of children, and upbringing parents become involved.

During that the natural meaning of the only social relation (which is family in the reduced sense of a kid being born / being fed etc.) develops towards a situation in which family becomes a multi faceted relation. It goes even so far that families settings (which are common in capitalism, but aren’t ‘natural’ e.g. the cis-hetero-two person core family with children) seems to be a default, instead of a product of the modes of production and the other influences e.g. superstrucutre, regligion, moral etc.

Within families (of a bit late type) there is - so writes Marx - already a separation of work and a type of exploitation and consequently alienation there: the use of alien labour, that of the kids or that of the (cis-heteronormaitve now) wife.

For reproduction more is necessary than the sexual act, what is necessary as statistical average are the steps for social reproduction which are determined by the conditions. This means that the separation of work, that the way how people get together and how and if they reproduce and how and who raises children are open questions here. What follows though that the work necessary to reproduce varies by societal way of life - even though there is a natural materialist core in reproduction.

Consequently dancing to get together with someone is happening as activity which is work (Marx uses Tätigkeit/Arbeit pretty often nearly interchangeable in the German Ideology).

Besides that the easy solution to the debate why do kids do a “useless” thing as play is: Play is necessary work to reproduce as society. Dancing might be similar.

Of course there still are things that aren’t necessary for society to reproduce, but those I will ignore.