Seriously…as a parent I feel like I’m constantly stressed out on finding the right words and approaches to reinforce the right things but sometimes articles from “the experts”:
Just make me seethe with contempt for how out of touch and frankly awful some parenting gurus are.
Its not all bad to be fair. I agree with number 2 and teaching kids how to recognize their own emotions and think empathetically but then there’s shit like number 3:
Furthermore, complaining about your job around your kids teaches them that work isn’t fun. As a result, they may grow up believing that adulthood is about spending half of your waking hours in complete misery.
Oh, well we can’t have that can we? Oh no junior, I swear daddy definitely loves clocking in at 6am and answering emails and crunching numbers rather then going outside to play basketball with you or build that new lego set. What, you’re grown up now and you hate your job and the way it makes you feel incredibly alienated in a way you never could have imagined? You just need to work on your attitude! Fuck that noise!
Even number 4, which I agree is good in practice, is arrived at for the wrong reasons. Its not about teaching kids some nonsense about being the sole arbiter and decision maker in charge of your life. Its about reinforcing the responsibilities and obligations you have to one another, whether that’s doing work or going to help grandma get some things down from the attic, or getting groceries for the week at the store.
In a few years I genuinely hope we evolve to the point of realizing that teaching our children neoliberal mindset is its own form of abuse.
Class oppression is just a negative mindset, sweaty. Don’t think of it as being exploited, think of it as being insploited, makes all the difference
I looked up some other stuff this contributor has written (because I apparently hate read articles to wake up in the morning) and this bit was just fucking gold:
Saying things like “we can’t afford new shoes like the other kids because we come from a poor background” reinforces to your child that most of life’s circumstances are out of their control. Kids who recognize their choices in life feel more confident in their ability to create a better future for themselves. Rather than allowing your kids to host pity parties or exaggerate their misfortunes, encourage them to take positive action (e.g., setting up a lemonade stand so they can save up to buy things they want or need). Kids who recognize their choices in life feel more confident in their ability to create a better future for themselves.
(e.g., setting up a lemonade stand so they can save up to buy things they want or need)
What the fuck is it with Americans and fucking lemonade stands?! :agony-minion:
this is fascinating- absolutely tone deaf and factually bad mental health advice. It is GOOD to tech children that there are things outside their control and things within their control- by teaching them about their locus of control you teach them how to identify if there is something they can do regarding a situation or if there is not- which in turn can prevent them from maladaptive coping techniques. Moreover, the value in learning about ones locus of control is in recognizing that almost everything in life is actually outside of your control, one of the only things you have control over is your actions and attitudes.
