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hey yeah I finds this pretty relatable. as a man it is so difficult to get real support from people. male and female, for different reasons. no one really cares and I have literally no idea how to make someone care about me. do I demand they care? beg? I can’t even picture it, like you said, its like they are interacting with a stranger in my own dreams. like i have friends I guess but when I was very sad last year all they did was exclude me from more things because of it, but they still pretend to care if i see them like its nbd? doesn’t seem very friendly to me. so now I’m basically filled with cynicism and disgust about the idea of interpersonal relationships in general, either romantic/platonic/sexual and all the things that exist just to facilitate those relationships. its fucked, definitely some real heafty alienation going on in our brain folds. don’t think i’m trans tho, I don’t really have an issue with having a penis or anything, though I do feel like my gender basically doesn’t matter?? hell if I know what to do about it, I just try to ignore everyone now and stay out of their way so I can vibe in peace, probably gonna just stay like this until I inevitably get shot in the head.
definitely relate. and yeah I think this is usually a male experience. like i get it, women need to look out for eachother and men usually like caring about women, but I wish I could get some of that treatment for me! I want hugs too :meow-hug: All I fucking got was my so-called friend telling me I need to be “more stoic like a Navy Seal” (told him I don’t emulate crazy baby killing psychopaths)
you are right that I don’t ever really see males struggle with this openly, but in my opinion I think a lot of males just don’t realize they are allowed to be vulnerable (well they sort of aren’t allowed as we are discussing) and pursue toxic/self-destructive behavior to cope with that. there’s also a spectrum of how emotional people are though a lot of males try to actively repress that. I suppose the standard solution is just to find a girlfriend and make her your therapist but that can be pretty toxic for her and as you said trying to date is an “exercise in suicidality” (really like that btw :michael-laugh:)
